Tag, I'm It?

Not a big fan of the tag, I'm not gonna lie. I've always hated tag: the running, the touching, the running, the running, oh yeah, did I mention the RUNNING? I remember getting so tired when I was a kid, and just wanting to stop for one second, but then some little butt-head who had inhuman amounts of energy would smack me on the back, and BANG! I'm IT.

There was abnormal fear in Kid-dom of being "IT." You never wanted to be IT. In fact, you would all put your foot in a circle and chant some sort of rhyme having to do with dirty-dirty-dish-rags and hope desperately that your friend's finger would land on the top of your grass-stained tennis shoe and say "You are not it!" YES! In fact, we would all go to great lengths to proclaim "Not It," at the top of your lungs, hoping that you were the first for this proclamation, so you could run from the would-be IT. If I had been smarter, I would have volunteered to be IT and walked home to end the stupid game (just a side note, isn't it interesting that we never wanted to be IT when we were children, but we all thought we were the sh-IT when we were teenagers? Sorry for the profanity). At any rate, since the abnormal fear of being IT has been dyed into the very wool of my life, I was not excited to to be blog "tagged" by my lovely cousin, Cali, who I am guessing, was an avid tag-player. But come to find out, being IT in this game means I can sit back and write about myself! Two of my favorite past-times--writing, and talking about myself. So let's begin.

1. I have read The Anne of Green Gables Series (books 1-8) a total of 9 times. I was so into Anne of Green Gables when I was younger that I almost believed that Anne and Gilbert were real. I remember walking into a little trinket shop and seeing some sort of figurine and thinking, "Anne would just love that." And then I remembered that Anne was not real, and even if she were, she was living in Canada and there was no way I could ever get the address to Ingleside, where she ended up living with her six children, until Walter died in WWI. I am hoping for the day when Jeopardy has a special "All Anne" episode. I would be the Ken Jennings of Green Gables trivia. WARNING: The last movie in the Anne of Green Gables series called Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story is pure blasphemy and a slap in L.M. Montgomery's face. Thank you.

2. I take 30-45 minutes to peel and eat an orange. I know, I know. Crazy, so they tell me. First, I remove the orange part of the peel, that takes like two minutes, and the remaining 28-43 minutes consists of removing as much of the yucky yellow stuff (that happens to contain all the vitamins) as humanly possible. Joe seems to think it's one of those quirks that makes me irresistible...yet another reason I am glad that Joe wasn't a heavy dater before we met.

3. I want to get a Master's degree in Creative Writing. The reasons for this are three fold: one, because I have always wanted to get a Master's; two, I am mortally afraid of a Master's Thesis, and I figure I won't have to write a true thesis in Creative Writing...just something like a novel or a collection of short stories--something that requires little to no research and documentation; three, believe it or not, I really like to write (something I bet no one could know, based on the length of my customary blog), and I like to teach Creative Writing. Why not be in Creative Writing classes myself?

4. Once my sisters stopped going to Girl's Camp, I became the Girl's Camp Belching Champion three years running. It's not something I SHOULD be proud of, but yet I am. Poor Joe. Two weeks after we were married, I was standing in the kitchen doing something, and Joe was watching T.V. Suddenly, I opened my mouth, and out it came, a Champion-sized belch. He looked at me like he had just seen Big Foot. "Oops," I said, "didn't I tell you about that?" Joe answered with a resounding "No!" "Oh. Well, you're stuck now."

5. I once was the coordinator of the Almost Miss Lehi Pageant. The Almost Miss Lehi Pageant came about because my friends and I were upset that there was no "spoof" pageant for women. So we created one. The idea was that Almost Miss Lehi would go on to compete in the Nearly Miss Utah pageant, and if she won that, she would go on to compete in the Not Quite Miss America pageant. The requirement was that each contestant needed to have a platform, a talent, and give five minutes of community service. The first pageant involved me and three other friends, and was attended by five people. Almost Miss Lehi was decided by a very heated game of Paper, Rock, Scissors. Platforms ranged from "Better Homes for the Homeless" to "Promote World Peace: Give the World a Puppy." Talents ranged from roller-skating hoola hooping to interpretive dancing. We only had two competitions, but with pride I report the second and final year of the pageant, we had over twenty people attend the Almost Miss Lehi Festivities, and I was actually approached by someone who wanted to take it public and charge for the show. We were almost included in the Lehi Roundup Parade, too.

6. I love singing. And I think I'm pretty good at it, and if showers could talk mine would concur. Some of my favorite songs to sing are "You Were Meant for Me" by Jewel, "Stay" by Lisa Loeb, "So Far Away" by Carole King, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" by Carole King," "Natural Woman" by Carole King, and "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles.

Well, since I don't like telling people to be IT, I will volunteer and walk home, ending the game.

Tears for Turkey

I have a little bone to pick with this media-crazed society. The other night I was driving, and it was dark, and it just wasn't the time for my regular 101.9 The End radio station. I felt I needed something more mellow, more...soft rock of the 70s. I have a soft spot for Bread, Airsupply, Journey (sometimes the only thing for a late-night drive is to belt out at the top of your lungs "And so I co-o-ome to you with o-ohoh-pen arms!"), REO Speedwagon, and possibly my favorite soft 70s rock song, "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight" by Dan England and John Ford Coley. I don't know why. Dark drives make me feel that way. Maybe it's because I feel the night brings a different kind of mood, a somber one, maybe because that's when we go home and cozy up with a Pendleton blanket (Pendleton's are the best when you are cold) with the heating dish on (because I don't have a fireplace) and a great big heaping mug of hot chocolate (Stephen's is the best) with enough marshmallows on the top to keep you tide over until you can reach the actual liquid underneath and the bottom mallows are all melty and wonderful. Well, when you can't have that, and you're driving by yourself, you want to recreate that cozy feeling and the only thing that could create that fireplace experience is listening to a really cheesy song with a guy singing that never fully made it out of puberty. And I was really looking forward to this on my lone night drive to Target.

So I did anything every sensible light rock listener would do--I turned it to 100.3 for my favorite segment, "Love Songs After Dark." But instead of finding my favorite tune, "There's a warm wind blowing/the stars are out/and I'd really love to see you tonight," instead I heard, "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..." AUUUGH! This isn't my cheesy 70s rock! This is really BAD Christmas music (which, for the life of me, I can't figure out why this whiskers on kittens song is a Christmas song. It came from a movie about a nun and Nazis! Where's the Christmas in that?).

This is where my bone-picking begins. As of today, it is 8 days away from THANKSGIVING! The day where you give thanks! And eat turkey! And lots and lots of pie and yams! This is NOT the time for yultiede gaity, damnit! Then, I got to Target, without my fill of Chicago's Love Anthems, and I walked to the back, and guess what, IT'S ALL CHRISTMAS!

I want to know this: where is the love? When did it become okay to skip over the whole Indians-helping-the-Pilgrims-survive-Holiday (although I am sure most Native Americans today are not so hot on the idea of celebrating the beginning of their downfall. I bet there are more curses on Squanto than we white-eyes really know about. Ten bucks says they think "Shoulda let them starve," every time they leave the Res.). I want to know why Thanksgiving is always so overlooked. Granted, it's not glamorous with all the sparkle and tinsel and elves of Christmas. It's not fun with all the costumes and blood of Halloween. But it is probably the most important holiday that we have, even its placement, squashed between candy-grubbing Halloween and present-grubbing Christmas, has important value. Thanksgiving to me is like a comma--just a breath, a short break in a very long-winded sentence--where you can sit down from your few days of baking, eat some really delicious food for about 20 minutes before you have to be up an running again to do the dishes.

Thanksgiving dinner is that break for all of us to stop and rest, and BREATHE after the craziness of Halloween ends and the craziness of Christmas begins. And we all talk about how we need a break, yet here we are, a break actually BUILT IN for us, even if it is only 20 minutes, and what do we do? We skip right over it, and only look forward to the day for the great shopping that takes place the Friday after. Breathe people! Breathe! And then think about all of the blessing we have--we're warm, most of us have cars, we have a lot of clothes, some of us some really cute ones, and we all complain about how fat we are (myself included) when some people don't have any food at all. Just...I don't know. Breathe. Notice Thanksgiving, and actually give thanks that Squanto didn't scalp those pilgrims so that we could be here in America today.
Anyway, this is my little Thanksgiving rant. It was long too. Sorry. But take a moment in the next 8 days or so, to breathe a little and slow down before jumping into the fray of Christmas.

My Twilight Character

You're Edward Cullen - You have great taste for the finer things in life, a classic style, and you understand the way people work so you can manipulate easily. You have many talents and a bit of a temper, but you are mostly level-headed and rational.

Okay, I don't quite know how I feel about this. I mean, Edward is kind of everyone's favorite character because he is so EDWARD. But sometimes he really bothered me. Really, didn't he know all of his attempts to keep Bella safe just drove her to be reckless? But now that I think of it, I was always thinking, "Geez, you stupid woman! Give the poor guy a break! He is eventually going to get tired of saving your life." So maybe I am more Edward than I originally thought.

And another thing...I didn't picture Edward to look like this. Not that I'm complaining, because this is a heck of a lot better than what was in my mind. All this time while my female students were swooning and dreaming and writing love poems to Edward (yes, there were a few. And they were pretty bad), I was thinking, "I just don't think he's that great." But seeing this picture, and re-reading with this stud in mind, I might just write a few really bad love lines myself...

But I do have to admit I like the description about classic style. Does that mean I am justified in still wearing a shirt I bought in the tenth grade? Just kidding. I threw that away. Last week.

Can't Get Enough

So I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I love Barry White. Not only do I love Barry White, but I love dancing to Barry White. Not only do I love dancing to Barry White, I love dancing. And that leads me to what I would like to share with the world today.

I have a policy in my classroom. It's called the "Sing For Your Supper Policy." Here is an excerpt from my disclosure document to explain what this policy entails: "In this class, we ask you to be prepared at all times. This means coming to class with paper, pencils, your notebook, any assignments, your writer’s notebook, and any reading material for the class. If you are not prepared and ask to return to your locker, we will implement the “Sing for Your Supper” Policy.

“Sing for Your Supper” is a saying that means you cannot get something for nothing. Going to your locker to get things you “forgot” or didn’t have time to grab because you were “late coming in from lunch” is a privilege, and you must earn it. If you must go back to your locker, you will have the option to “sing for your supper,” which in our class means you must dance. For 30-45 seconds. To music of our choosing. In front of the class. We will not force anyone to dance if you do not want to. You may choose the other option: go without materials. We don’t do it because we don’t like you. We do it because we want you to be responsible and prepared. And because we love dancing."

So let me tell you about Weston. Weston Marsden is one of the funniest kids I know. He had an unfortunate accident a few years ago that left him slightly...weird in the head. So he forgets a lot. But he also uses it for a crutch, but you can't get mad at the kid because he's hilarious. Let me give you an example: One day, while I was reading out loud to the class, I heard giggling. I looked up from my book to find Weston army crawling underneath the desks and people's feet. I stopped and gave my best "What the hell are you doing" teacher look. I mean, I brought out the pointy eyebrow and everything. I said, "Weston, what the hell are you doing?" (I cuss in class occasionally).

"Going on an adventure." I tried to not laugh. But it really was funny. I later found out that he was really trying to play Hide 'N Seek. He didn't think he'd get caught. So anyway, one day Weston said he needed to go back to his locker because he forgot his book. This was the third trip, mind you. So, I decided to implement the Sing For Your Supper Policy. So, I picked a CD and found the most dace-able music alive: "Can't Get Enough (of Your Love, Babe)" by Mr. Dark Chocolate himself, Barry White. Well, Weston was at a loss of what to do. So I helped him out a little. And someone caught it on video. Damn the cell phones!

And then he posted it on You Tube. And I am going to put it under my Friends Family and Whatnot because I can't figure out how to get it from You Tube to here. I'll put it on this blog when my student gets it on DVD for me. Anyway, have a nice long laugh at me shaking my huge booty.

I need a picture?

So it has been brought to my attention that I need more pictures on my blog. Unfortunately, I have yet to join the rest of the technological world and purchase a digital camera, so getting pictures on is kind of a pain the in the ever-growing rear end. For some reason, I really don't want a digital camera, because knowing me, I would never get pictures. I would never print them. They would just hang out, chillin' with the storage card (I don't even know what that is). The real truth, if you want to know, is I love the surprise film brings. I really do.

I have a problem remembering to get my film developed. A problem that my husband gets really annoyed with. But let me tell you something--I secretly love it. I love taking in three or four rolls at a time, with no idea what is on them, and getting pictures back that I don't even remember taking! It's like Christmas! It's like getting a bag full of memories at your doorstep--memories that you forgot about. It's great.

And like Halee Barry said on Oprah (even though I don't like Oprah--she's racist, but this is another story) when I was flipping through the channels: there are so little surprises now days, that you kind of have to create your own. And I do love surprises. My dream is to have a surprise birthday party someday, but I can't tell anyone to throw one, because then it wouldn't be a surprise. Damn the paradox!

But back to the picture thing--I don't really have a recent picture of Joe and me (yes, that is the proper pronoun) because of the aforementioned ever-widening rear end. But I will slap an old one on there just so Kristin will read my blog...

Happy October, everyone. Thank goodness for the end of first term! Only three more to go!

Sins of the Past

I feel there is a desperate need out there amongst those of us who grew up in the 90's to know that just because N Sync, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera are "out of order" does not mean that we, the products of the 90's don't have any new music to turn to. I admit, I myself was swayed by the striking good looks of Nick Carter, the upbeat tempo of "Pop," the Catholic school uniform and pigtails, and the wailing strains of Lady Marmalade. But wo, wo, wo unto the sinner. (But in our defense, we didn't know any better.) I now call all of you music sinners to repentance. Turn from your trashy pop ways and embrace real music.

Regardless of our past musical sins, there is hope of redemption. This comes in the form of New Music. New Sounds. New artists who don't take off their clothes or perform complicated dance moves or be "Dirrty." These new beings have resurrected the idea of writing and performing their own music--an idea that died with Madonna, Tiffany, and I assert will end with Hannah Montana. There are new frontiers to pursue--new sounds to experience. And I have one for all those ladies out there who are looking for a new Fiona Apple/Sarah McClaghlan (sp?)/Joni Mitchell/Norah Jones. And her name is Sara Bareilles.

Her album, Little Voice, is filled with the songs she wrote for herself, and they are up-beat- brave. I must warn you, though. The males in our lives might protest this music saying, "This is a chick album filled with chick songs." Behold, I say unto you, Yea, yea! This IS a chick album filled with chick songs! It just so happens that a CHICK wrote and is singing those songs. And even more importantly, I AM a chick! Therefore, these songs are for ME!

What follows is a song-by-song review of the album from a highly biased source--me.

#1: "Love Song": This is the current single that people (women) are falling in love (no pun intended) with. It's a She-Ra Woman song, meaning that it's all about taking a stand and not letting the man in her life tell her what to do. Contrary to the suggestion of the title, the key lines are:
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today
It's upbeat and peppy. I'm talking Kirsten Dunst in Bring it On peppy. I love it.
#2: "Vegas": This is a song about going various places to chase dreams. I personally am not a big fan; I don't have a specific reason why--it just doesn't have that zing that would be desired by one who grew up in the N Sync years. But my mom loves this song. She says it's because it's the one Bareilles yells in the most. But she grew up in the Joni Mitchell age. A few key lines,
It's always just around the corner or you're
On your way to somewhere
That is bigger or better...
If you could only get there
#3: "Bottle it Up" This is a song that see-saws between wanting to fall in love and getting burned, or protecting yourself. The final outcome, of course is " Oh, only gonna get get what you give away,/So give love, love." I like this song--the pick-up is catchy. The only problem is it says a swear--the S-swear. But if you grew up in my house, that's nothing new. I'm not saying the S-swear is okay, I'm just saying I grew up in my house, I work at a high school, and my husband works in the car repair industry. The S-swear isn't anything I haven't heard.
#4: "One Sweet Love": This song is a mellow yet melodic (praise to alliteration!). It is a sweet love song, wondering if the "one sweet love" is behind her, wondering if she wasted time, wondering if she will ever find her way back. Like I said, it is more mellow than the others, but it still a pick-up and some passionate loudness in there. It's Sarah McLaughlin. I like this one, but it's not my favorite. Some key lines,
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.
#5: "Come Round Soon": This has a very Fiona-ish feel to it. The song is about being left by someone, but yet, as in the age old tradition of Jewel in "You Were Meant for Me," believing that he will come back. I like this one because there are some serious lung-age used at key moments. If you're into that sort of thing... Some key lines, " Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave/Like I'm just one more tortured heart"
#6: "Morningside" This song is a bit deceiving. The title lends itself to the assumption of a gentle song. But it's not. It's pretty up-beat and catchy. It's all about the frustration with not being able to let someone alone, no matter how much they keep leaving and them coming back again. I really identify with this song, and anyone who knows about the Bryce chapters in my life will know why--right when I would decide to move on, he would keep doing that stuff that I was attracted to--ON PURPOSE! And he wouldn't let me leave. That's what this song is about. A few key lines: " I could try to forget what you do when i let you get/Through to me but then you do it over again/I could rage like a fire/and you'd bring rain i desire/Til you get to me on my morningside." Great tune
#7: "Between the Lines" When I first engaged in the purchasing of this album, the title to this song left me wondering. The very first tape (cassette) I ever owned was Out of the Blue by Debbie (not Deborah) Gibson. There was a song there by the same title of this. I was wondering, was it the same song? No. Thank the music Gods it isn't! This song is a ballad. About what I am not 100% sure. I am thinking it's along the lines of a broken relationship? It's a good guess because that's pretty much what the rest of the album is. But this song is probably the most ballad-y of them all, with a gorgeous piano introduction. But still, with all of it's pianos and intros, I usually skip this song. Not gonna lie. I call it like it is.
#8: "Love on the Rocks" This song is a kind of hip "Benny and the Jets" feel. This is a song exactly what it sounds like. It's about a love that is kind of rocky--like when people say, "their marriage is on the rocks," yet it also refers to an alcoholic drink, which I know nothing about. All I know is what I have seen in movies, when people order a scotch on the rocks. So this love is rocky, but addicting, like alcohol. (Watch me analyze!) Over all, this is another I listen to only once in a while.
#9: "City" Are you ready for a change? Because this song is all about the city, hence the title. Not about love. Maybe on some level--love of her career, that is. It's about how "a girl could get lost" in the city amongst all those who are "whispering Hollywood's name." It's slow, it's soulful, and I like it.
#10: "Many the Miles" This song is kind of an up-beat "Where are you" type of song. "How far do I have to go to get to you? Many the Miles" reminds me of an old John Mayer favorite, "I'm tired of living a lone so hurry up and get here." In theme, not music. Anyway, this is one of the favorite on the CD, not because of its amazing lyrics, but the music is fun, kind of...is jazzy the right word? It's very syncopated, with that demanding feel. It's great.
#11: "Fairytale" This is a favorite of mine, from the very first line, "Cinderella on the bedroom floor/she got a crush on the guy at the liquor store/cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore/ and she forgets why she came here." It's fun for all the princess reasons (my favorite being: "Tall blond lets out a cry of despair/ says would've cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair." HA!), but it is essentially another She-Ra song that declares, "I don't care for your fairytales! You're all so worried about the maidens, but you know she's only waiting for the next best thing." And the point is, she's not buying into the whole idea that you have to sit around waiting to be rescued so you can get married and be miserable. But in the meantime, it's upbeat and sarcastic, and ironic. Again, another favorite.
#12: "Gravity" This is the all time favorite on the album. If I were a dance teacher, I would force someone to do a lyrical dance to this song. It's slow, it's emotional, it's heartfelt, and extremely beautiful. This is one that I listen to over and over and sing as loud as I can and really FEEL it, and then again in the shower, when I fancy myself a singer. It's the most beautiful song on the album, music and lyrics. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.

Well, folks. There you go. I now call all ye to repentance, and learn to listen to REAL music. Not necessarily this, but forsake your bubble gum sins and learn to embrace the truth.

Oh Baby, Baby

In the immortal words of Britney Spears, "Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know..." Our baby news is not good. We have hit yet another brick wall in our quest to become pregnant, but all hope is not lost yet. We are just going to have to get a little creative. So hopefully next year....

So October is in full swing, and as Ray Bradbury says, "October is a rare month." I think I have to say that October is my favorite month. The weather becomes bearable, hoodies are a staple in the wardrobe, General Conference allows us to attend church in jammies, the leaves die gracefully in a flourish of color, and, most importantly, daylight savings ends and for one day we get ONE EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP! Except this year, darn Pres. Bush pushed ending daylight savings back two weeks--I say we impeach the jerk for that, forget the war in Iraq (that we are fighting because the Afghanis bombed us six years ago--explain THAT one!)

This week is a glorious week because it is fall break (formerly UEA, but they changed it because no teacher in their right minds would go to three days of workshops and lectures if it wasn't required, or if they weren't getting paid for it). And the best thing about this week? I only have A day once. I don't like two out of three classes on A day, so this week is looking up.

Updates on our weekend to Bear Lake (it'll be cold) coming up!