I'm Glad I'm Alive

So lately I have been using the blog to do a lot of complaining. Really, who wants to read that? So I thought I would write a post that talks about all the wonderful things in my life so you don't all think that I am a big cynic. And because, for some reason, I have been thinking in lists.

8) My family. I have two older sisters who have traveled a very long, very treacherous road at times, but they are here, they are alive, and they have beautiful families that they are doing their best to raise the right way. They might have fallen at times, but I wouldn't have made the good choices I did if they hadn't gone before me. Also, I have the most random younger brother. His sense of humor is truly one of a kind. Once a month, my mom and dad have a family home evening on Sunday, and it is always very loud--jokes, laughter, and little kids. The picture here was taken 2 years ago June. I am missing (I was taking the picture) as is my brother (he was on his mission--he's been home for about 9 months now) and Elise (my other niece, belonging to Nat and Joseph, was a zygote at the time). (People in the picture: Back: Joe, [of course, belonging to me]. 2nd row, left to right: Joseph the brother-in-law [belonging to Natalee], Pete the dad, Yarley the older sister. Front row, left to right: Tim the other brother-in-law [belonging to Yarley], Suzanne the mom, Taylor the niece [belonging to Yarley and Tim], and Natalee the oldest sister).

7) My job. I know I complain a lot about my job, but the reality is I really like being in front of the classroom, and I like it when students stay after to talk to me, whether it's to get advice about boys, or if it's to ask me what I'm doing this weekend.

6) My mother-in-law. Granted, we're not the best of friends, but I can never forget that she raised the man I love, and he is one of the best men I know. She had to have had a hand in that.

5) Rainy days. I know most people like the sunshine, but for some reason I love it when it rains, as long as it takes place in the spring. Rain bring so many wonderful things: puddles to splash in, cool breezes, spectacular lightning shows, nutrition to grass and flowers, and who can forget rainbows.

4) Talents. Especially the talents I don't have. When other people do things better than I do, I am so glad because if I tried it, I would be a dismal failure. For example, Joe has a talent of immediately making people feel comfortable. I, on the other hand, am followed around constantly by awkward silences. My dad is a wonderful artist, while my stick people look truly disturbing. I love it when we can help each other out.

3) Literature. Granted, I am an English teacher, but without literature, the human race would lose all its history. Think about it, there would be no literary devices like symbolism, or metaphor, or hyperbole, or poetry. Any one who does not think these things are important obviously hasn't read the scriptures, which in all actuality read like literature: Isaiah with his symbolism, Nephi with his poetry (several instances of chiasthmus--not to mention his free verse lament in 2nd Nephi--Walt Whitman can't hold a candle to him), and Christ with his metaphors (ever heard of a parable?) They teach, they inspire, and even if you can't understand what the heck any of it means (as in the case of Isaiah) it sure is pretty.

2) My health. Listen, I have had my share of medical problems, especially in the procreation department, but other than that, I have always had a clean bill of health. I don't have a serious disease, and the only time I get the flu is when I get a flu shot. I have the occasional cold, but who doesn't? I have no allergies, no asthma (the only one without these two things in my immediate family, by the way), I have never broken a bone, never had heart burn or indigestion, and if it weren't for my period, I would never have diarrhea. I can eat what I want and not get sick. Even my hickeys heal quickly! But my wonderful health has done me a disservice: I have very little patience when my husband, who has the whimpiest stomach ever, has the flu or heartburn. I say, "can't you just ignore it?" Sometimes he gets mad at me. But really, I am very healthy.

1) Joe. I know that Joe was meant to be my husband. Everything between us worked out way to perfectly to be coincidental. I sincerely believe that Heavenly Father knew that I needed someone who would tell me I was pretty all the time, and that Joe needed someone to tell him to trust himself enough to make his own decisions. So, I was prompted to move to Bluffdale and attend Riverton single's ward, and Joe's friend Bryce was prompted to invite Joe, whom he hadn't seen in 5 years, to the Riverton single's ward, where I was prompted to bear my testimony my first Sunday there, which caused Joe to think, "I have to find out who that girl is." One month after that, we were unofficially engaged. And I don't know if this is really true, but I think we are one of the happiest and most in love couples I know, and our goal is to keep it that way, clear until our Golden wedding anniversary. He is my Sweetheart, and I am his Cutie, and even though we have a lot of challenges to face, I am sure we will find a way to do it together.

So, this is ultimately the most cheesy post ever, but I really am grateful for everything I have in my life, and I feel most blessed to have the life I have, challenges and all.

Advice for the Future

It is a well known fact that I am a high school English teacher. Many teachers will tell you that they love their jobs, that they love making a difference in the lives of many students, and that ours is one of the few professions that really do make a difference in this world. And I agree with this. 89% of the time. The other 11% is filled with thoughts like, “this is ridiculous. If I wanted to be a baby sitter, I would be making a lot more money than this,” or, “these are the people that are supposed to take care of me when I get old? Please let me die young,” or, “there is no point to this. The students don’t care, the parents will blame me for a failing grade, but will congratulate their student when they pull an A, and Pres. Bush just passed another law that undermines the hours of unpaid work that teachers put in for a policy that causes schools to encourage students to drop out just so that we can receive funding. It’s not worth it. I could go get a job at a bank that has better hours, better pay, and when I go home, I can really go home—not to mention actually not feeling guilty for calling in sick.”

But it’s the profession I chose, and it’s a profession I chose with my eyes wide open. And it’s a profession that I am very, very good at. And it is a profession I love, despite its drawbacks, especially when the students pass a birthday card around the room (when it’s not anywhere near your birthday) and leave messages like, “you’re a great dancer” (check out my link “The Incredible Dancing Mrs. Bingham” to understand that one), or “You should try to be an author,” or “I loved your class. I learned so much, and now I actually know that I can write poetry to let out my feelings.” Those few moments, and they are few, are enough to sustain you through all the crap.

With that being said, I would like to give advice to all of you parents out there that will have a student in high school any time in the future. Since most of you who read my blog on a regular basis don’t have kids, or you are just starting families with your oldest not even in school yet, I suggest printing this out and putting it in an envelope and mark it with a note that says, “Read this the summer before _________________ (child’s name) enters high school,” and then put it somewhere where you will find it when that fateful day comes. What follows are twelve things you should remember as a parent of a high school student.

12) Failure is a part of life. Sometimes your kid might need to fail and deal with the consequences of failure to fully understand how to deal with it, not to mention learning a lesson about responsibility.

11) Always get both sides of a story. Your child is always going to make herself sound like the victim, and admittedly, the teacher is going to gloss of his behavior, too. Oh, and if there is a problem, DO NOT EVER go over the teacher’s head to the principal. Only go the principal when the teacher proves to be unreasonable. And, before you come swooping in to save the day, let your child try to fix it on his/her own. You should only swoop in when your kid has done all she can do.

10) Teachers are not perfect. Occasionally, a teacher will have a bad day, or have PMS, or having a personal crisis. A teacher might say something that s/he will regret and try to fix it. Sometimes, a teacher will misplace an assignment, or mis-enter a grade. This is NOT a personal attack on your child. It’s a mistake. Just like when you lose your keys.

9) Most teachers hardly ever lose an assignment. Check every locker, book bag, and binder before you accuse a teacher of losing an assignment. If you still can’t find it, chances are your kid never did it and is telling you what I call a homework fib. Now, not all students lie. But most of them do. They don’t do it because they’re bad kids; they do it because they’re teenagers and want to avoid punishment.8) Begin to understand that if the government feels that your student is responsible enough to operate a fairly large and dangerous vehicle, then a teacher feels that same student is responsible enough to do his/her homework without poking, prodding, or excessive reminding.

7) Teachers like teenagers. We do not go into the profession to ruin lives and hurt them. Most of us don’t, anyway.

6) Never, under any circumstance, lie for your child. That being said, I know each and every one of you will, heck I probably will at one point or another. Most of you are probably up in arms thinking, “I would never lie for my child.” You’d be surprised at what you would do. Don’t call the school when your student plays “hooky” to excuse them. Don’t write a note claiming that your computer broke the night before a major paper was due when in all actuality your kid didn’t start the paper until 10:00 the night before. Don’t insist that your kid did his/her homework to try to convince the teacher that she lost it when you know s/he didn’t do it in the first place. Don’t do homework for you kid. Don’t cover for him/her if s/he cheats. All any of this does is teach your teenager that it is okay to be dishonest with authority figures (which includes you, by the way), or that mommy and daddy will always bail him/her out, which is simply not true. Or it shouldn’t be true, anyway.

5) Accept the fact that not every student is an A student. And it shouldn’t be that way. If your kid is trying his very hardest, and all he can get is a C, celebrate the C. If there was a particularly difficult unit, and your student walks away with a B+ rather than the customary A, throw a party because he made a great showing. If your kid usually gets an F in English, and he comes home with a D- on his report card, tell him you’re proud of him for working hard to improve.

4) Don’t settle for less than the best. If your student comes home with a D- in math, even though she is a wiz at it, this should not be acceptable. This might sound the complete opposite from what I said above, but the principle is the same: Expect the best, and celebrate the best. Don’t settle for anything other than maximum effort, no matter what grade that is.

3) A due date is a due date and should not be negotiable, unless there has been extenuating circumstances. If you beg for extensions, you are teaching your child that there is always a way around rules, and that they can do what they want when they want and you will save them.

2) Parent Teacher Conferences should not be used as therapy sessions. Teacher do not want to hear about your divorce, your horrible schedule, your other children who are either very successful or dismal failures unless it relates directly to their class or your child’s grade.

1) Teacher do not award grades based on how they feel personally about your child. Teachers would like to, but it’s just not possible. Instead, teachers help students who are willing to help themselves more. I never grade a student differently, no matter what I think personally about that student. WARNING: Parents who badger the teacher, consistently lie for their student, blame the teacher, enable poor behavior in their student, or think their child is perfect runs the risk of hurting their student. If a student is receiving an 89%, which is a B+, I would usually bump that student to an A-. Unless their parents have been very difficult. Then I won’t help at all. Usually teachers love their students, but can’t stand their parents and, as a result, avoid the student in order to avoid the parents. This is unfair for the student, but it is the best way we know how to avoid a possible law suit.

As you might have guessed, it’s the last week of my term. It has been a week from hell. Not because of my students, but because of parents. My advice to all the parents out there: give your kid’s teachers a little credit, and encourage hard work in your students. If you do this, your child will have a very successful high school experience.

P.S. An F can NEVER be brought up to a B in two days. It’s just not mathematically possible.