Letter to My Second Lover

Dear Diet Coke,

It has been a while--almost three weeks to be exact--since we've been together.  Even though there have been times when your absence wasn't too gut-wrenching, life just hasn't been the same.

I was warned when I was a little girl that someday something would come along and tell me pretty lies and I would fall in love, and I wasn't to give in, but I did anyway, and it has been a difficult relationship.  I know it was mostly my fault, that it was I who abused you and took all the good things you did for me for granted, but I must admit, you abused me, too.  Because of you run the risk of kidney damage, bone loss, weight gain, and tooth enamel damage.  And I tried to leave you.  But, like Rhianna, I just couldn't stay away.

How can I turn my back on you now, after all we've been through?  It was you who saved me during late night grading sessions all those times before grades were due.  It was you who talked me off the ledge when I arrived at school and looked at Londen and Billy and decided I just couldn't go on anymore.  It was you who prevented me when I wanted to kill Zach.  You were there for me when no one else was.  Even now, when all danger and threat to my life through my career is gone, you still stand by my side--my reward for cleaning the house, and my support when I stay up into the wee hours of the morning to finish my writing assignments.  It is you to whom I owe my sanity.  And I Love You.

Today I came back to you again--Burger King now sells you for a dollar, any size.  And I promised myself, just this one time, a goodbye, friends with benefits, farewell get-together.  But, like Monica and Richard, I am afraid there is no such thing as friends with benefits with you.  It is either all or nothing.

I know I should choose nothing, but I don't know if I can.  Getting over you was the worst thing I ever had to do, and I don't want to do it again.  I must admit, that my body has gotten better since you've been gone, and, just as Kelly Clarkson said, I can breathe for the first time when I work out.  And Shaun T might not look on your existence in my life with much affection.

I am afraid that I must make this final decision to cut you out completely.  It will be difficult, and I can't say that I won't long for you most days when Alice will say nothing but Chicken Butt, and Daisy will try with all her might to eat my food.  But it must be done--for both of us.

You will always hold a special place in my heart, and I don't think I will ever fully get over you.  I will never forget you.

Love Alway,
Sarah

p.s.  I might still make a booty call once in a while...please don't hate me for my imperfections.