Things I have Learned about Babies and Bellies

Most women don't really like to take pictures of themselves while they are pregnant. I, on the other hand, am glad to have a valid reason for gaining weight and finally having a socially acceptable reason for showing off my fat belly. That being said, some of these are still really bad pictures. Not in my finest hour. And I have come to realize that I am getting pregnant everywhere, not just the belly. But, for posterity, here they are.


I like to call this one: "Bad Hair at 16 Weeks". Notice the background--all of my belly pics are taken in the baby's room.

This one is titled "I Am Not Pushing it Out! Take the Stupid Picture! at 18 Weeks."

This one is called, "I Look Really Bad in Profile, So I am Striking a Maternity Model Pose at 20 weeks."

And this one doesn't have me in it. It's just a picture of the baby's room, completely finished sans crib. Believe it or not, I taped off all the lines myself, and they are mostly straight. My eyes started going a little wonkey near the end, so Joe did the last five or so. I chose browns because we don't know what we are having, and I didn't want a "baby" baby room, for resale reasons. Plus, how cute did it turn out? Poor Joe had to put in the chair railing and the quarter round (at the ceiling). Something I will never ever put him through again. He really loves me to do all of it with minimal swearing. And he only threw the saw across the room once. Such a sweet guy!

In addition to the pictures, I thought I would make a list of some of the most interesting things I have learned about being pregnant.

1. I can't walk anywhere without a hand. It's amazing that all of a sudden, my chances of being hit, mugged, or beat up by some random person have dramatically increased. At least, that's the only thing I can figure out, because I can't go anywhere now without Joe's hand securly in mine.
2. I fully realize how much people love my baby. No one cared when I had to walk on ice last year, now it's the utmost concern of Joe, Joe's dad, and others. No one said anything when I walked up and down my three flights several times a day for the last three years, but now, three flights!? It's too much for a pregnant woman! I have been making dinner for us for three years, and seeing how Joe's pants were a little tight for him this last week, he hasn't been starving. But now, Joe's mother sends home dinner once in a while because she figured I might not feel like cooking. Very sweet.
3. Now, when someone asks me how I am, they fully expect a detailed list of my many ailments. Usually when someone asks you how you are feeling, they don't really care. Not any more. The best part is, when I say that I am fine, no complaints, they look at me like I am crazy. I feel like I am cheating them of a good conversation because I have had a really easy pregnancy.
4. Babies don't ever sleep at night, in-utero or out. At least mine doesn't. It never fails that around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m, I will start getting kicked, and it will go on until about 1:00 in the morning. It doesn't hurt or anything, but the problem is, I am so fascinated by what I am feeling, I don't get a lot of sleep.
5. I am no longer lazy. I am pregnant. It's interesting that before I was pregnant, a messy house meant I wasn't a good housewife, a fact that I was willing to fess up to, but now? No, I'm not bad. I'm just pregnant. You don't want to go to the gym? Of course not...You're pregnant. It's okay if you don't grade those papers. You need a rest. You're pregnant. It is so wonderful to not feel guilt all the time. I don't think this little baby understands the joy it has brought into my life already.
6. Before, if I wanted a donut, it was because I had no will-power. Now? Those donuts must have something in them my body is craving, otherwise, I wouldn't want them. Therefore, because my body needs whatever those donuts have, I should eat them.
7. The baby has taken my brain. This one I had heard about, and I am sorry to say, I really didn't believe it. I just thought people had a lot on their mind with a new baby coming, and that's why they were stupid. I here and now sincerely apologize for ever thinking that. I thought I was going nuts until I watched The Biggest Loser finale, where Allison Sweeny, the host, who was eight months pregnat, kept calling everyone by the wrong names and mispronouncing a lot of words on the teleprompter. It was then I went, it isn't just me! It really is the baby! I'm not crazy! Unfortunately because my students this year will never know me not pregnant, they will never realize this. They will just move on next year thinking, my English teacher was nutty.
8. Once you hit about 20 weeks or so, your belly grows 1 cm a week. In our non-metric nation, that sounds small. Until you realize, like I did this past week, that a centemeter is exactly length of eight dimes stacked on top of each other. I'm serious. Stack eight dimes together, and that's how much my belly grows. A week. And I have 17 weeks left! That means my belly is going to grow 136 more dimes (if I've done the math right)!
9. I love my old garments. I know that I shouldn't really be lamenting my underwear, but I had the kind that were kind of stretchy, which meant they stayed in place when I pulled up my jeans and such. Even though I am a fan of materinity garments (pull it WAY up over my belly) I do miss the stretchy, non-moving underwear of what, I am now referring to as my skinny days (imagine--my size 10 pants were my SKINNY days!)
10. Every pregnant woman is different when it comes to pillows. I am a stomach sleeper, which is why I haven't had a lot of rest lately. I have had much advice on the pillow situation, and I have tried everything. I simply cannot figure out what will make me comfortable. I had Joe tuck me in, surrounded with pillows so if I roll on my back, I will still be propped up, but I didn't like that because I felt like I was sleeping by myself. My poor husband was on the edge of the bed. Then, I tried a pillow between my legs, but because I turn a lot in my sleep, because my body wants to lay on my stomach, the pillow never stays there, so it's pointless. The only thing I have found that works is to put the body pillow on one side, and Joe on the other. I either cuddle the pillow, or a cuddle Joe. If I cuddle the pillow, then Joe scoots really close to my back. That way, if I roll over, then he props me up. If I cuddle Joe, then when I roll over, my pillow props me up. It's the only way I can figure to stay on my side, which is really inconvenient to Joe, I realize. But he has informed that he doesn't mind, because I keep him warm. And he doesn't like feeling like he's sleeping alone, either.

So, those are the 10 things I have learned over the last 23 weeks. I am sure I will learn more in the last 17, and keep everyone posted on any new break-throughs.