Tuesday, June 02, 2015

The Rules

I am a rule follower by nature. I like rules. I like to follow rules. I mostly like to make up rules and then make other people follow them (which is why I became a teacher and a mom. Total power). Starting on this journey without rules would feel incomplete and superficial and not real. So rules must exist.

But get ready, because these rules have very little to do with food or exercise for two reasons.

1. I'm not a nutritionist and making arbitrary food rules without a lot of research doesn't sound like a good idea to me. And besides, I've been on a lot of diets, and failed at them all.  And they all had food rules. The least common denominator, folks.  A lot of food rules doesn't seem to be working in my favor.

2. This approach isn't about what I can and can't eat. It's about loving my body and listening to what it wants.

So I only have one food rule. The rest are...well...they're not normal... (by the way, these are my rules for me, and not for anyone else to follow. I'm recording a journal, not recommending a program, people).

Rule #1 (the only food rule): Eat protein for breakfast
This is the one diet rule that I have learned from my many, many attempts at diets that I have found to be very easy, and also very beneficial. When I start my day with protein, it seems that is what I crave the rest of the day. Protein=good for my primitive Native American DNA. So protein shakes, eggs, bacon, ham, that kind of stuff. And maybe a steak and eggs once in a while. YUM.

Rule #2: Listen to Uplifting Music When I'm Spending Time with My Body.
That sounds a little weird, I know.  Let me explain. When I say "spending time with my body," I mean those times of day when I'm specifically doing body stuff, like putting on makeup, doing my hair, taking a shower, exercising, etc.

And I need to clarify "uplifting music." I do not mean listen to the MoTab or any other boring stuff. When I say "uplifting," I mean music that makes you dance and music that makes you feel good. Listen, it's really hard to not be happy when you're listening to "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. "Uptown Funk"  I'm sorry.  I just can't not dance to this song. There is nothing so fun as cutting a rug to this song in the shower. Not to mention the calories you can burn by dancing.
2. "Happy" by Pharrell Williams.  Again.  You can't mentally berate yourself when you're too busy clapping along because you know what happiness is to you. And again, the dance/calorie factor.
3. "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor.  It's really hard to abuse your body when you're dancing around to a song that glorifies your fat butt.  I mean, the first verse says, "It's pretty clear I ain't no size two/ but I can shake it, shake it like I'm supposed to." I totally relate to that, especially when I'm shaking it in the shower and no one can see it.  And what about this one, "If you got beauty just raise 'em up/ because every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top." How can you not like your body after that? And how about "boys like a little more booty to hold at night"?  Truer words have never been spoken.  Even I, I, who has more treble than bass, I whose husband affectionately calls my butt "asprin ass" (round and flat with a crack up the middle), can testify to the fact that boys like booty to hold at night (but they're not going to complain about boobie, either).
4. "Lips are Movin" by Meghan Trainor.  Basically anything by her.  Her stuff is naked-dancing gold.
5. "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. I don't think this needs any commentary.
6. "Eye of the Tiger."  There has never been a more fighting/winning/effort/I-Can-Do-It song in the world. Just punch and drop kick that negative thinking out of your life!

I like to use Amazon Prime Music to play in the bathroom--it has great free songs, if you're a prime member.

Rule #3 Walk Around My Bedroom Naked or Change My Clothes When My Husband Is Watching
Okay.  This might be TMI, but there is a very good reason for this. Since I have had babies and gained weight, I don't change in front of my husband any more. I've been ashamed of my body, which, when you think about it, is ridiculous.  I mean, I've had three babies--two through the hoo-ha, and one with C-Section.  My husband has literally seen me inside and out.  He's seen parts of me I have never seen.  For heaven sakes, he's seen the doctor pull out my intestines and stuff them back in, and then sew me up, yet I don't dare change my clothes in front of him because I don't feel like I'm pretty? How stupid and totally illogical is that?  Well, no more. When my husband wants to look at my body, I'm going to let him, because he loves me, he loves my body, and he thinks it's beautiful no matter what.

He is very happy about this change of events, to say the least.

Rule #4 Dance Naked Once in a While
Ever seen that "Friends" episode when Rachel dances around her apartment naked? It's fun. And nothing lets you get comfortable with your body like dancing.

Rule #5 If I Catch Myself Saying Bad Things About My Body, Stop and Say Thank You
It's a hard habit to break, folks, saying mean things to yourself. I do it without even really thinking. Yesterday, on my way out the door to church, I caught a reflection of myself in the glass of our door, and I thought, "Wow!  My arms are fat!" I didn't even realize I had thought it until after I thought it.  I quickly followed it up with a thank-you statement, something like, "Thank you, arms, for being strong enough to carry my cute baby boy around." Remember, I'm trying to appreciate my body for what it does right instead of berating it for what it does wrong.

Rule #6 No Weighing
This is a whole separate blog post, so come back and later and see why I refuse to weigh myself.

Rule #7 Wear Nice Clothes and Look Nice
For about 6 years I have refused to buy clothes that actually fit me because I thought that keeping my body in a perpetual state of being uncomfortable and self-conscious would motivate me to lose weight.  All that did was make me feel uncomfortable, self-conscious, and ugly to boot. If I'm loving my body, I should let it look nice the way it is. I should do my hair and my makeup, not because I'm covering up the way I look, but because I'm done settling for looking less than the best.

So those are my rules. It's hard to change the way you think about yourself. It's hard to shift your focus from the traditional lose-weight mentality.  Most people, when they embark on losing weight, they are always thinking about food and exercise all the time, and they don't give their body credit for what it is right now. I realize I'm approaching this backwards, but there's a reason my body isn't it's best self.

And that's because I've never allowed it be be good enough.




2 comments:

  1. Sarah I love your writing style! So enjoyable to read and fun. Are you still writing a book too? I can't wait. I'm excited for you. I don't know if I'm ready to join you on your adventure, but let me tell you, after reading your list, my hubby would certainly want me to (ie #3&4).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sarah I love your writing style! So enjoyable to read and fun. Are you still writing a book too? I can't wait. I'm excited for you. I don't know if I'm ready to join you on your adventure, but let me tell you, after reading your list, my hubby would certainly want me to (ie #3&4).

    ReplyDelete

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