New Feature

I would like to draw your attention to the newest member of my Sidebar Team: "Have You Ever." I would also like to warn you that reading these might make you uncomfortably familiar with me.

Yet another in less than 24 hours!

Yes, I'm leaving another post. Why? Because I'm wasting time and taking a break from badly written essays on the effects of reputation. And because I want to feel happy about something and not frustrated, the way I have felt for the past three days I have been back to work.

Last week, I noticed Alice picking up a lot more words. My Pediatrician told me Alice should have about 20 words by her 18 month visit, so I was curious. How many words can she say? Well, since I had 4 whole days with my darling, I started listing words I heard her say without prompting--things she said on her own, without me telling her to, or without her repeating them after I said them. Here's the list (you really don't have to read it. It's more for documentation's sake).

1. whoa
2. mama
3. dada
4. hi
5. bye-bye
6. oh-no
7. one
8. two
9. nine
10. button
11. boobs
12. rock
13. ball
14. pretty
15. yeah
16. no
17. help
18. bite
19. yummy
20. go
21. Elmo
22. swing
23. night-night
24. draw
25. hot
26. up
27. please
28. thank you
29. more
30. apple
31. I did it
32. toot-toot
33. poop
34. ice cream
35. cookie
36. cracker
37. eat
38. all done
39. gone
40. moo
41. walk
42. hat
43. shoes
44. jump
45. dog
46. broken
47. hello
48. grandma
49. grandpa
50. home
51. binky
52. blanky
53. achoo
54. head
55. pumpkin
56. ear
57. car
58. hoo (owl)
59. boo
60. cold
61. kick
62. knock-knock
63. Donald
64. duck
65. quack
66. frog
67. hair
68. book
69. hungry
70. Costco

So far. We add a couple new words everyday. She's such a smart cookie!

Short Tutorial

I hope I don't offend anyone, but since...I do anyway, why hold back? For all you bloggers out there:

1. If you have two complete sentences that you would like to combine, use a comma (,) and a conjunction (and, but, or, etc) between the two.

2. They're means "they are." There means the location. Their means the possession.

3. When you have an introductory clause, like the one here, you need a comma before the rest of the sentence.

4. A semi-colon (;) is a "soft period (.)" You use it in the same place as a period, but it doesn't quite end the sentence. For example, if I have two closely related sentences, and I don't want them to be separate, yet I don't want to use a comma/conjunction (see tip1), use a semicolon. Example:

I have a hard time reading some blogs; it would help if people punctuated.

Dear Parents of High School Students

Your kids suck. Especially at the end of the term. You know it's true. That's why at the end of a 2 1/2 month break, you are very eager to send them away to school. To the place where I must deal with them 9 months out of the year...

I'm just saying.

Dear Pop Music of the Late 80s, Early 90s,

How I miss your charms! When I revisit your melodic graces, I remember times of yore, when I was both young and stupid. Your cheesy gorgeousness melts my heart and puts a smile on my face.

When I hear the melodic tunes of Paula Abdul, "A buh-buh-bh-buh, Buh-buh-baba-bye-bye," or "Look into his eyes, oh, uh-oh, he's been telling lies," I have fond memories of Vh1 and the worst veejay of all time, Rosie O'Donnell.

When I hear the throaty wails of Taylor Dayne, "Tell it to my heart, tell me I'm the only one, is it truly love or just a game?" I think of Jem and the Holograms--I don't really know why; I just do. For some reason Taylor's siren and Jem are forever linked in my mind.

When I can hear the strains of Donny Osmond's "Soldier of Love" I feel the need to run around my living room and pretend to ice skate like Nancy Kerrigan or Tanya Harding. Again, who can explain the reason certain songs are linked forever with certain events?
Oh, late 80s, early 90s, I will forever remember when Will Smith was the Fresh Prince and lamenting that "Parents Just Don't Understand." I will revel in the days when Bret Michaels crooned, "Ev'ry rose has its thorn, just like every night has it's dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song. Every rose has its thorn." Ahh. The poetry. How much more heartfelt can you get then sad cowboy songs? Oh, Late 80s, it wasn't just your music I loved. But it was also your hair:






Oh how fondly I remember your charms--Do you ever miss Ace of Base? Or perhaps Color me Badd? I mean, who doesn't wanna be Sexed Up?

Dear Music of the Late 80s, early 90s, I will remember you fondly, for you were my first love, however misguided it was (can you say Mariah Carey). I cherished you, had girlish dreams about Casey Holbrook to you, and cleaned my room to your artificial sounds. Oh, Music of the Late 80's, Early 90's, you completed me then, and you make me happy now.