Bleeding Love: Another English Lesson

So I am a SYTYCD fanatic. For those of you not in the know, I'm talking about So You Think You Can Dance. I love this show. It makes me wish I was skinny and a dancer. I could write a whole big long essay about why SYTYCD is SOOOO much better than American Idol, but I don't have the time, and I really don't want to right now. So instead, I am going to write an essay about how much I love this dance by Chelsie and Mark (btw: Chelsie is our own little Mormon girl hailing from Pleasant Grove. Go Chelsie!) So I Have spent the last four or five weeks watching this routine on that blessed invention called the DVR. I can't seem to get over it. Why? I don't know. Well, at least I didn't know until my brain started to get into school mode again over the last couple of weeks. It was only then I realized why I love this routine so much: it is a perfect example of great storytelling. You know me. I can't leave it at that. I have to explain. So, I hope you are ready for another English lesson....

There are three parts to a story: beginning, middle, and end, otherwise known as exposition, rising action, climax, and falling action. I know. This information blows my students away, too. There are very important things that need to happen in each section, and if these things don't happen, the reader (or the viewer, in this case) is left feeling unfulfilled. And we don't want that to happen, do we? Okay, so each part has a job. The beginning part of the story (aka EXPOSITION) has two important jobs: 1) introduce the audience to the main characters. This can be done in any way the author (or choreographer, director, etc) chooses. Most people prefer names and descriptions, but it doesn't always have to be this way. 2) The exposition also needs to pose the dramatic question. What is the dramatic question? Well, the dramatic question is a yes or no question that should arise in the audience's mind before they begin to move on to the rising action. The yes or no question gears the plot and keeps the readers reading. A few popular examples of dramatic questions for novels: will Gatsby end up with Daisy (The Great Gatsby)?, will Harry defeat Voldemort (every HP novel except Prisoner of Azkaban. This question is also the dramatic question for the whole series)? Will Bella and Edward stay together despite their differences (Twilight)? Will Bella and Edward get back together desite Jacob's love for Bella (New Moon)? Will Bella choose Edward over Jacob (Eclipse), and the dramatic question for the series is Will Bella Ever Become a Vampire? Depending on your view, Will Andie break Ben? Or Will Ben Break Andie (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)? These are all dramatic questions because they are yes or no, everything in the plot builds around these questions, they were posed in the beginning of the story, and these questions were answered at the climax of the story. See? It seems like an easy job for the exposition to do, but have you ever tried to write a story? The beginning is the most important part because if you have a crappy question that no one cares about, then you have a crappy story that no one cares about.

Once the dramatic question is established, the story moves on to the middle part of the story: the rising action and the climax. This takes up the bulk of the text. The job of the rising action is to take the characters through conflict after conflict, each one building on the last, each one giving the audience the information it needs to answer the dramatic question. Finally, where there have been so many conflicts, and the tension is at it's thickest, we reach the most important job of the middle part of the story: the climax. The climax is usually described as the most exciting part of the story. This is not true. The climax is simply the part where the dramatic question is answered: when the readers get to know whether Bella chooses Edward over Jacob (which, logically, I didn't agree with--but I'm an infertile Indian, so I'm biased. This is a whole different post), or whether Daisy actually chooses Gatsby (which she doesn't. Sigh. I'll have you, Jay Gatsby!) Then, once the dramatic question is answered, the story is almost done. It's just the falling action that needs to happen now.

The falling action (also called the dénouement) is where the story's loose ends are tied up. What happens now? Sometimes the falling action is quite long, like in the Great Gatsby, where the falling action is a chapter about Jay Gatsby's funeral. Sometimes it is very short, like in Gone With the Wind, when Rhett tells Scarlett that he doesn't give a damn (the climax) and then leaves, and all she says is, "I'll think about it tomorrow at Tara, after all, tomorrow is another day" (And the music swells, da daaaaa da da, da daaaaa da da). That one sentence is the whole falling action. Which is why we are all screaming for a real sequel, because that ending certainly wasn't satisfying. When most people die, they say they are going to talk to Joseph Smith first thing, or maybe Nephi. Not me. I'm making a bee line for Margaret Mitchell. I want to find out what REALLY happened between Rhett and Scarlett. But I digress. The point is, the falling action can be the smallest part of the book. But it too, is very, very important, mostly because it shows the change in the characters from the beginning of the book to the end, so the readers can see how it affected them, how they reacted to it, and ultimately, apply the story and the lesson to their own lives.

So why do I love the Bleeding Hear dance? Because, in the small amount of time, it has all three parts of a story, and the story is told beautifully. Let's watch, shall we (you can watch above. Just click, and here we go)? And then we'll do the fun stuff: analyze! YAY! Exposition: Okay, first, we see a shot of the two characters, back to back. This is our introduction. We can deduce a lot about who they are from their clothes. Mark, in the suit and the eternal part, is a business man. Chelsie, in a weird baby doll shirt and ugly jeans and shoes, is the significant other--I'm thinking a wife-type, because only wives allow the men they love to see them in a a get up like that. They are dancing together, in sync, which indicates to me that they are in a relationship that was very...beautiful in the beginning, but then...."Time starts to pass and before you know it you're frozen...." They point to their watches, and Mark picks up a briefcase BAM! Dramatic Question: Will he really leave her for his work? On to the rising action.

Rising action: There are several types of conflicts in literature. The most basic (and the most interesting if you want my opinion) is man vs man (or woman), and man vs. self. In this dance, we see both. First conflict: she wants him to stay. Easy enough. And he does, for a little while. Second conflict: They love each other, but he has to leave. This is both man vs. man, and man vs. self. You can see on his face, and the way that they did the little embrace walk across the stage that he isn't heartless. But he is torn between his love of a woman, and a his love of his career. Third conflict: She won't let him go. Both of their hearts are breaking. Fourth conflict: most of this is internal: she wants him to stay, he won't, and her heart is breaking. His is a little more complex. He wants to stay, but he can't. He is basically facing a tug-of-war between her and his job. And he can't decide. Look at the way he holds his head in the dance, up and down. That's a sign of indecision; a struggle between the two things he really wants. There is another huge conflict here: he tries to love her when he can, but she's so upset, she won't allow it. Watch when he face slides next to hers--she moves away. This is her inner conflict: does she just allow herself to be a back burner? She chooses no. And he feels rejected. So they turn away from each other, physically in the dance, which we all know signifies emotionally in the story. Then they face each other. They are doing the same dance, but they are moving in opposite directions. To me, this says they are both trying the best they know how, but the other person won't respond to their attempts. If she would only let him in, or if he would only listen for a minute, then things could be okay. But it's a no go; they just can't seem to get their lives to be in sync like they did at the beginning. As a result, another conflict arises: he begins manipulating her--using her as a object, not really seeing her as a person he loves, but more as a thing in his life that doesn't take priority in his work. Finally, the last straw? The climax, or the answer to our dramatic question: Will Mark really leave her for his work? They have one last moment of love, but the damage is done. Slowly, he takes her heart in his hand, and walks away. Yes. He will. And this leads us to the falling action.

Falling action: what happens next? Not much. She is morally crushed. Her heart is broken and she is permanently scarred. He just walks away. But wait…maybe it's a trick! He looks back! No. You cut me open. And he leaves. Story over.

Heartbreaking. I know. But that's why I love it! It follows the pattern of every great American novel: choosing prosperity over what really matters and what happens as a result. That's why we love these sad stories so much: because we can see ourselves in the characters, and the characters choose what we would never choose, and we get to see the result and learn from their mistakes. It's beautiful.

(p.s. if anyone knows how to use a VCR with a DVR to record shows, would you mind letting me know? I would love to use this lesson in Creative Writing)

Book Club

I've created a book club blog to keep people updated on what we're reading. Feel free to comment on the book, give suggestions about other books, and anything else! The link is on my link list

Are We There Yet?

Up until now I have been relatively quiet about everything that has been going on with Joe and me. I have hinted now and then to our fertility struggles, but I have kept most of the details quiet. Mostly this was because I don’t like the questions, I don’t like having to explain everything to everyone a million times, I don’t like people who are pregnant to feel like they can’t be excited for their own babies (just for the record, the more babies around that I can hold, the better :) ) and I don’t like people telling me how sorry they are. It makes me cry, and I don’t like crying for myself in front of people. But I know everyone is curious as a result of my cryptic hints, and I have selfishly allowed my dear best friend, Kristin, to answer everyone’s questions. So here’s the latest.

Joe and I both struggle with fertility issues. It took us four different doctors and a year and half to feel like we had answers; we had just figured that a few ovulation inducing drugs would fix me. The drugs were not fun, but I dealt with the hot flashes and the mood swings (actually Joe dealt with those) with what I consider some grace, and we decided we would begin Intra Uterine Insemination.

A lot of people get IUI mixed up with IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). The difference is that IVF is where the doctors extract the egg from the ovary and fertilize it in a Petri dish and then implant the healthy, fertilized embryos back into the uterus and hope for implantation. This procedure costs anywhere between $10,000 - $30,000. IUI, which is what Joe and I decided to try, is when the husband’s sperm is injected into the fallopian tubes with a syringe in a five minute procedure. It’s relatively painless (unless the nurse isn’t careful with those long beak-like things that open your cervix…OUCH!), and runs about $280.00 a pop.

Well, we’re not stupid. The money sounded much nicer with the IUI. At this point, I had stopped taking my medication because we were taking a short break, but I continued to have my period on a (semi) regular basis. I was thrilled because our chances of pregnancy without ovulation inducing drugs were higher (this is because Clomid reduces the quality of the egg. Normally, when you’re creating babies the old fashioned way, it’s not a problem. But with the insemination, the egg quality is an issue). So, with my periods regular, and some money saved up, we decided to move forward.

We did one insemination in February, then when it didn't work, we did a couple procedures to make sure my tubes weren’t blocked (they shoot dye up inside you. Not fun). We finally tried for a second time at the end of May. We hadn't had success yet, but we weren't discouraged. It is very rare to get pregnant the first few tries of IUI. We were getting ready to try again on Tuesday, (this week), but I felt that something was wrong. I was on cycle day 24. This is not normal. I called the nurse and asked her about it, and she wanted me to go in immediately to see what was going on.

To make a long story short, apparently I haven’t been ovulating, even though I have been having my period. I can’t figure that one out and the doctors don’t know, either. Obviously, this wasn’t working. So we had to decide how aggressive we wanted to get. Joe and I discussed it a long time ago that we would go as far as we could without IVF. I have heard that egg extraction is not a pleasant experience, and I don’t know if I really want to go through all of that.

So here’s the current decision: Once my period starts, I am going to start taking a different ovulation inducing drug called Femara (it’s actually for breast cancer, but the side effect is ovulation) for days 3-7 of my cycle. Then I am going to be giving myself FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) injections until day 12. This will cause my body to produce several follicles and allow them to grow until they are right for fertilization. Then on day 12, I will start going into the doctor’s office for blood tests and ultra sounds to see when the eggs are ready to be released. There is no telling how many times I will need to go in before it’s time. Then, when they doctor decides that the eggs are “ripe,” then I will give myself an HsG injection, which causes the eggs to be released from the ovary in exactly 36 hours, which is when I will go in AGAIN and be inseminated. It's a very long, time consuming process. And frustrating.

Here’s the scary thing: Ever heard of John and Kate plus 8? Know how they have sextuplets (that’s six babies at once)? Guess what fertility procedures they did? Yeah. The chances for multiples are very high. My doctor, who is an active LDS member, stops cycles if there are more than 3 babies. Thank goodness. So, if this works, this might be the only time we do this. Joe and I have already decided if we get more than one, then we are done.

So that’s it. That’s what’s going on. I just want to say that our struggles, in the fertility world, are fixable and small. There are options for us, and Joe and I feel strongly that the decisions we have made are the right decisions for us. We are also very optimistic about our prospects at this point. It has been a very hard road, but it’s not a dead end.

Joe said something the other day when I called and told him what was going on: he said, “Well, at least you’re not dying.” That really affected me. I’m not dying. I am a very healthy person, and so is Joe. This is sad, but it’s not the end of the world. When we were first venturing out on this crazy world of hormones and doctors, my dad and the bishop said the same thing, “It’s not the end of the world.”

I wanted to sock them in the nose.

It was the end of my world. But after two years, I realize it’s not. I still have Joe. I still have the gospel. I still laugh at funny things, and I still sing in my car. I’m not dead and the world is still turning. I have decided something within these last two years. I have decided that I have the choice: do I become bitter and feel sorry for myself? Or do I move forward, do what we can do, and enjoy life? I try really hard to be positive, and we try to cheer each other up on the really hard days. It’s a process. But right now we are seeing the end. We are only going to try this a few times. If it works, we will be ecstatic. If is doesn’t? Well….we’ve been there before. If there is one thing that I have learned in life, it is that you have to have a plan, and if that plan doesn’t work out, then you make another one. And when that one doesn’t work out, then you make another and another and another until you find a plan that gets you where you need to go. And once you get there, you don’t mind how many plans were discarded. You’re just glad you’re there.

I think we’re almost there.

I have been writing for the last hour. And it was beautiful. And then I lost everything I had written.