Bleeding Love: Another English Lesson

So I am a SYTYCD fanatic. For those of you not in the know, I'm talking about So You Think You Can Dance. I love this show. It makes me wish I was skinny and a dancer. I could write a whole big long essay about why SYTYCD is SOOOO much better than American Idol, but I don't have the time, and I really don't want to right now. So instead, I am going to write an essay about how much I love this dance by Chelsie and Mark (btw: Chelsie is our own little Mormon girl hailing from Pleasant Grove. Go Chelsie!) So I Have spent the last four or five weeks watching this routine on that blessed invention called the DVR. I can't seem to get over it. Why? I don't know. Well, at least I didn't know until my brain started to get into school mode again over the last couple of weeks. It was only then I realized why I love this routine so much: it is a perfect example of great storytelling. You know me. I can't leave it at that. I have to explain. So, I hope you are ready for another English lesson....

There are three parts to a story: beginning, middle, and end, otherwise known as exposition, rising action, climax, and falling action. I know. This information blows my students away, too. There are very important things that need to happen in each section, and if these things don't happen, the reader (or the viewer, in this case) is left feeling unfulfilled. And we don't want that to happen, do we? Okay, so each part has a job. The beginning part of the story (aka EXPOSITION) has two important jobs: 1) introduce the audience to the main characters. This can be done in any way the author (or choreographer, director, etc) chooses. Most people prefer names and descriptions, but it doesn't always have to be this way. 2) The exposition also needs to pose the dramatic question. What is the dramatic question? Well, the dramatic question is a yes or no question that should arise in the audience's mind before they begin to move on to the rising action. The yes or no question gears the plot and keeps the readers reading. A few popular examples of dramatic questions for novels: will Gatsby end up with Daisy (The Great Gatsby)?, will Harry defeat Voldemort (every HP novel except Prisoner of Azkaban. This question is also the dramatic question for the whole series)? Will Bella and Edward stay together despite their differences (Twilight)? Will Bella and Edward get back together desite Jacob's love for Bella (New Moon)? Will Bella choose Edward over Jacob (Eclipse), and the dramatic question for the series is Will Bella Ever Become a Vampire? Depending on your view, Will Andie break Ben? Or Will Ben Break Andie (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)? These are all dramatic questions because they are yes or no, everything in the plot builds around these questions, they were posed in the beginning of the story, and these questions were answered at the climax of the story. See? It seems like an easy job for the exposition to do, but have you ever tried to write a story? The beginning is the most important part because if you have a crappy question that no one cares about, then you have a crappy story that no one cares about.

Once the dramatic question is established, the story moves on to the middle part of the story: the rising action and the climax. This takes up the bulk of the text. The job of the rising action is to take the characters through conflict after conflict, each one building on the last, each one giving the audience the information it needs to answer the dramatic question. Finally, where there have been so many conflicts, and the tension is at it's thickest, we reach the most important job of the middle part of the story: the climax. The climax is usually described as the most exciting part of the story. This is not true. The climax is simply the part where the dramatic question is answered: when the readers get to know whether Bella chooses Edward over Jacob (which, logically, I didn't agree with--but I'm an infertile Indian, so I'm biased. This is a whole different post), or whether Daisy actually chooses Gatsby (which she doesn't. Sigh. I'll have you, Jay Gatsby!) Then, once the dramatic question is answered, the story is almost done. It's just the falling action that needs to happen now.

The falling action (also called the dénouement) is where the story's loose ends are tied up. What happens now? Sometimes the falling action is quite long, like in the Great Gatsby, where the falling action is a chapter about Jay Gatsby's funeral. Sometimes it is very short, like in Gone With the Wind, when Rhett tells Scarlett that he doesn't give a damn (the climax) and then leaves, and all she says is, "I'll think about it tomorrow at Tara, after all, tomorrow is another day" (And the music swells, da daaaaa da da, da daaaaa da da). That one sentence is the whole falling action. Which is why we are all screaming for a real sequel, because that ending certainly wasn't satisfying. When most people die, they say they are going to talk to Joseph Smith first thing, or maybe Nephi. Not me. I'm making a bee line for Margaret Mitchell. I want to find out what REALLY happened between Rhett and Scarlett. But I digress. The point is, the falling action can be the smallest part of the book. But it too, is very, very important, mostly because it shows the change in the characters from the beginning of the book to the end, so the readers can see how it affected them, how they reacted to it, and ultimately, apply the story and the lesson to their own lives.

So why do I love the Bleeding Hear dance? Because, in the small amount of time, it has all three parts of a story, and the story is told beautifully. Let's watch, shall we (you can watch above. Just click, and here we go)? And then we'll do the fun stuff: analyze! YAY! Exposition: Okay, first, we see a shot of the two characters, back to back. This is our introduction. We can deduce a lot about who they are from their clothes. Mark, in the suit and the eternal part, is a business man. Chelsie, in a weird baby doll shirt and ugly jeans and shoes, is the significant other--I'm thinking a wife-type, because only wives allow the men they love to see them in a a get up like that. They are dancing together, in sync, which indicates to me that they are in a relationship that was very...beautiful in the beginning, but then...."Time starts to pass and before you know it you're frozen...." They point to their watches, and Mark picks up a briefcase BAM! Dramatic Question: Will he really leave her for his work? On to the rising action.

Rising action: There are several types of conflicts in literature. The most basic (and the most interesting if you want my opinion) is man vs man (or woman), and man vs. self. In this dance, we see both. First conflict: she wants him to stay. Easy enough. And he does, for a little while. Second conflict: They love each other, but he has to leave. This is both man vs. man, and man vs. self. You can see on his face, and the way that they did the little embrace walk across the stage that he isn't heartless. But he is torn between his love of a woman, and a his love of his career. Third conflict: She won't let him go. Both of their hearts are breaking. Fourth conflict: most of this is internal: she wants him to stay, he won't, and her heart is breaking. His is a little more complex. He wants to stay, but he can't. He is basically facing a tug-of-war between her and his job. And he can't decide. Look at the way he holds his head in the dance, up and down. That's a sign of indecision; a struggle between the two things he really wants. There is another huge conflict here: he tries to love her when he can, but she's so upset, she won't allow it. Watch when he face slides next to hers--she moves away. This is her inner conflict: does she just allow herself to be a back burner? She chooses no. And he feels rejected. So they turn away from each other, physically in the dance, which we all know signifies emotionally in the story. Then they face each other. They are doing the same dance, but they are moving in opposite directions. To me, this says they are both trying the best they know how, but the other person won't respond to their attempts. If she would only let him in, or if he would only listen for a minute, then things could be okay. But it's a no go; they just can't seem to get their lives to be in sync like they did at the beginning. As a result, another conflict arises: he begins manipulating her--using her as a object, not really seeing her as a person he loves, but more as a thing in his life that doesn't take priority in his work. Finally, the last straw? The climax, or the answer to our dramatic question: Will Mark really leave her for his work? They have one last moment of love, but the damage is done. Slowly, he takes her heart in his hand, and walks away. Yes. He will. And this leads us to the falling action.

Falling action: what happens next? Not much. She is morally crushed. Her heart is broken and she is permanently scarred. He just walks away. But wait…maybe it's a trick! He looks back! No. You cut me open. And he leaves. Story over.

Heartbreaking. I know. But that's why I love it! It follows the pattern of every great American novel: choosing prosperity over what really matters and what happens as a result. That's why we love these sad stories so much: because we can see ourselves in the characters, and the characters choose what we would never choose, and we get to see the result and learn from their mistakes. It's beautiful.

(p.s. if anyone knows how to use a VCR with a DVR to record shows, would you mind letting me know? I would love to use this lesson in Creative Writing)

Book Club

I've created a book club blog to keep people updated on what we're reading. Feel free to comment on the book, give suggestions about other books, and anything else! The link is on my link list

Are We There Yet?

Up until now I have been relatively quiet about everything that has been going on with Joe and me. I have hinted now and then to our fertility struggles, but I have kept most of the details quiet. Mostly this was because I don’t like the questions, I don’t like having to explain everything to everyone a million times, I don’t like people who are pregnant to feel like they can’t be excited for their own babies (just for the record, the more babies around that I can hold, the better :) ) and I don’t like people telling me how sorry they are. It makes me cry, and I don’t like crying for myself in front of people. But I know everyone is curious as a result of my cryptic hints, and I have selfishly allowed my dear best friend, Kristin, to answer everyone’s questions. So here’s the latest.

Joe and I both struggle with fertility issues. It took us four different doctors and a year and half to feel like we had answers; we had just figured that a few ovulation inducing drugs would fix me. The drugs were not fun, but I dealt with the hot flashes and the mood swings (actually Joe dealt with those) with what I consider some grace, and we decided we would begin Intra Uterine Insemination.

A lot of people get IUI mixed up with IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). The difference is that IVF is where the doctors extract the egg from the ovary and fertilize it in a Petri dish and then implant the healthy, fertilized embryos back into the uterus and hope for implantation. This procedure costs anywhere between $10,000 - $30,000. IUI, which is what Joe and I decided to try, is when the husband’s sperm is injected into the fallopian tubes with a syringe in a five minute procedure. It’s relatively painless (unless the nurse isn’t careful with those long beak-like things that open your cervix…OUCH!), and runs about $280.00 a pop.

Well, we’re not stupid. The money sounded much nicer with the IUI. At this point, I had stopped taking my medication because we were taking a short break, but I continued to have my period on a (semi) regular basis. I was thrilled because our chances of pregnancy without ovulation inducing drugs were higher (this is because Clomid reduces the quality of the egg. Normally, when you’re creating babies the old fashioned way, it’s not a problem. But with the insemination, the egg quality is an issue). So, with my periods regular, and some money saved up, we decided to move forward.

We did one insemination in February, then when it didn't work, we did a couple procedures to make sure my tubes weren’t blocked (they shoot dye up inside you. Not fun). We finally tried for a second time at the end of May. We hadn't had success yet, but we weren't discouraged. It is very rare to get pregnant the first few tries of IUI. We were getting ready to try again on Tuesday, (this week), but I felt that something was wrong. I was on cycle day 24. This is not normal. I called the nurse and asked her about it, and she wanted me to go in immediately to see what was going on.

To make a long story short, apparently I haven’t been ovulating, even though I have been having my period. I can’t figure that one out and the doctors don’t know, either. Obviously, this wasn’t working. So we had to decide how aggressive we wanted to get. Joe and I discussed it a long time ago that we would go as far as we could without IVF. I have heard that egg extraction is not a pleasant experience, and I don’t know if I really want to go through all of that.

So here’s the current decision: Once my period starts, I am going to start taking a different ovulation inducing drug called Femara (it’s actually for breast cancer, but the side effect is ovulation) for days 3-7 of my cycle. Then I am going to be giving myself FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) injections until day 12. This will cause my body to produce several follicles and allow them to grow until they are right for fertilization. Then on day 12, I will start going into the doctor’s office for blood tests and ultra sounds to see when the eggs are ready to be released. There is no telling how many times I will need to go in before it’s time. Then, when they doctor decides that the eggs are “ripe,” then I will give myself an HsG injection, which causes the eggs to be released from the ovary in exactly 36 hours, which is when I will go in AGAIN and be inseminated. It's a very long, time consuming process. And frustrating.

Here’s the scary thing: Ever heard of John and Kate plus 8? Know how they have sextuplets (that’s six babies at once)? Guess what fertility procedures they did? Yeah. The chances for multiples are very high. My doctor, who is an active LDS member, stops cycles if there are more than 3 babies. Thank goodness. So, if this works, this might be the only time we do this. Joe and I have already decided if we get more than one, then we are done.

So that’s it. That’s what’s going on. I just want to say that our struggles, in the fertility world, are fixable and small. There are options for us, and Joe and I feel strongly that the decisions we have made are the right decisions for us. We are also very optimistic about our prospects at this point. It has been a very hard road, but it’s not a dead end.

Joe said something the other day when I called and told him what was going on: he said, “Well, at least you’re not dying.” That really affected me. I’m not dying. I am a very healthy person, and so is Joe. This is sad, but it’s not the end of the world. When we were first venturing out on this crazy world of hormones and doctors, my dad and the bishop said the same thing, “It’s not the end of the world.”

I wanted to sock them in the nose.

It was the end of my world. But after two years, I realize it’s not. I still have Joe. I still have the gospel. I still laugh at funny things, and I still sing in my car. I’m not dead and the world is still turning. I have decided something within these last two years. I have decided that I have the choice: do I become bitter and feel sorry for myself? Or do I move forward, do what we can do, and enjoy life? I try really hard to be positive, and we try to cheer each other up on the really hard days. It’s a process. But right now we are seeing the end. We are only going to try this a few times. If it works, we will be ecstatic. If is doesn’t? Well….we’ve been there before. If there is one thing that I have learned in life, it is that you have to have a plan, and if that plan doesn’t work out, then you make another one. And when that one doesn’t work out, then you make another and another and another until you find a plan that gets you where you need to go. And once you get there, you don’t mind how many plans were discarded. You’re just glad you’re there.

I think we’re almost there.

I have been writing for the last hour. And it was beautiful. And then I lost everything I had written.

Tag I'm IT

So Emma tagged me, and I think I've already done this one, but no fear. I will do it again for the sake of friendship.

Twenty Years Ago...
1. I was six and getting ready to go to first grade. I don't really remember much about it, but I am sure I was excited. I was a school geek even then
2. I was living in Orem at 1214 N 1160 W and my phone # was 224-6812. Don't ask me how I still know all that.
3. Was trying desperately to play with my older sisters, who were trying desperately to get rid of me.

Ten Years Ago...
1. I had just finished me Sophomore year.
2. I had the biggest crush of my life, (an utter waste of time, and one of the biggest regrets of my life. Poor Emma. She had to hear all about it. I am sincerely and utterly sorry!)
3. I was living in Lehi. Lame. I know, but I can't think about anything that happened back then that didn't relate to #2. Pathetic. I know, I know. Remember how I said it was the bigget regret of my life?

Five Years Ago
1. I was taking some summer courses at UVSC so I could graduate in the spring of 2004.
2. I was starting to get really nervous for student teaching
3. I was attending the single's branch in Lehi--some of the best fun I ever had.

Three Years Ago
1. I was engaged, and counting down the days to my wedding! YAY! We even had a paper chain hanging across my cabinets for the countdown.
2. I had just finished my first year of teaching.
3. I was living in my condo, that I bought all on my lonesome the previous December. And I was kicking out my old roommate for my new one.

One Year Ago
1. I finished my third year of teaching at Lehi High
2. We went to Seattle for a week and ate at Iver's, the best seafood I've ever had in my life!
3. We got baby news that changed our lives forever

So far this year...
1. We are trying to have a baby--now with better chances than ever! Things are looking up.
2. I attended a conference in Park City that got me really excited about teaching.
3. I have not entirely enjoyed my calling with the 11 year old scouts.

Yesterday...
1. I slept in until 9:00
2. I did the dishes and folded laundry
3. I watched So You Think You Can Dance and rewound the Workaholic/Wife dance to the Leona Lewis song like fifity-twelve times. I LOVE DVR.

Today...
1. I just woke up
2. I have to go to weight watchers and weigh in. I am really scared because I ate so much of the yummy catered food last week in Park City.
3. I have to go to the gym...again. Why did Rory have to get married right now?
4. The results show for So You Think You Can Dance!!!

Tomorow...
1. I have to go the gym.
2. I should probably unpack from Park City
3. Is Friday! That means a whole weekend with Joe. And I will also have to start getting ready for the Lehi Roundup Saturday morning parade (it's become a tradition with my family. Joe even changed his work schedule because he wanted to go so bad. He's cute!)

In the next year...
1. I (hopefully) will finally get pregnant! (cross your fingers and say some prayers!)
2. The new high school will get finished and Lehi High will split and finally get some relief!
3. Start looking for houses, probably in Sandy or Riverton. If I had it my way, we would be going to Idaho or Montana...Sigh.

I tag...no one. Almost everyone I know has done this tag, so....you can do if if you want.

The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood

So, as promised, I finished reading The Robber Bride a few days ago, and here is the reveiw.

First off, let me just say that I have only read two of Margaret Atwood's books, the aforementioned Handmaid's Tale, and now The Robber Bride. Atwood's style is very fluid, but not overly done. There is a lot of description, but not to the point where I get lost in it (most of the time). Ms. Atwood has this weird thing with words, though. For example, in Handmaid's Tale, the main character is constantly deconstructing words until they no longer have meaning. And in this book, one of the main characters, Tony (Antonia Fremont) is ambidexterous, so she reads words backwards. She calls herself Tmonerf Ynot. A little strange. But it's interesting. And this Atwood woman has a creepy ability to accuratly pin point the future. For example, near the beginning of the book, one of the characters, Roz, asks Tony if what she thinks about the war in Iraq (the setting is Canada in early 1990s--she's referring the Gulf War, not this war...whatever this one is about). Tony's response is that that long term consquences will in all eventuality lead to the downfall of the nation. Although I won't go so far as to say that our country is currently seeing a downfall, there is quite the economic strain...anyway, back the book.

So there are four main characters the book focuses around, all women. There is Tony, who is a Professor of History, specializing in battles and war. The description of Tony in the book reminds me of that lady on The Incredibles--you know, the one who makes the outfits? Or even that lady who with the really bad haircut who used to play one of the judges on The Practice. I'll see if I can find a picture. Found one. This is how I pictured Tony.
Anyway, that's Tony. Then, there is Charis (pronounced care-is), formerly knows as Karen. In the heighth of the hippy movement, Karen became Charis. She is a very Pheobe/Darma hippy-dippy person. Her story is the most...dark. Then there is Roz, a very large woman who is very loud, and very rich. Finally, there is Zenia. the one woman that brings all these other women together. It is because of Zenia that all of these women are friends, and it is Zenia whom all of these women hate.

The book begins with the women in a very strange bar for lunch, The Toxique. It is there that Tony, Charis, and Roz meet approximately once a month to discuss...whatever. More recently how glad they all are that Zenia is dead. And then, right in the midst of celebrating this woman's death (she's been dead about 5 years), Zenia walks in the door of The Toxique. It floors them. They leave. And then they all go home. And then the book begins.

The first story we hear about is Tony's, how she met and fell in love with her husband, how she was the first to be sucked into Zenia's spell, and Zenia hurt her. Then we move to Charis's story: her childhood, her mother, her grandmother, what happened to make her the way she is, her life with her live-in boyfriend, and her friendship with Zenia. And how Zenia ruined her life. And then we move on to Roz, her marriage, her youth, her college days, and her friendship with Zenia. And how Zenia ruined Roz's husband. And then the end.

The ending is about how each of these women cope with this force, this woman who exists only in kinky spy movies, this woman who seems to know everyone's vulnerability, a woman who uses and discards without a thought. A woman who is both abhorred and irresistable to men and women alike for reasons which are unknown. Zenia is an enigma.

I was totally engaged in this book. Even though I got lost in a lot of Tony's war babble, I found myself being sucked in, and almost sympathetic to Zenia, but I was even more committed to Tony, Charis (even though she was very strange) and Roz. Three women who were of the baby boom, came to adulthood in the sixties, and have lived through Zenia to tell the tale. I would say that this book is one of the really good, intellectual books that I have read so far, but it was still entertaining. My brain has kind of shut off right now, so I bet there was a lot of symbolism, extra meaning, and sense to be made out of this book that I have missed, but even with out all of that literary nonsense, the book was just good entertainment. I recommend it. But, like I said last time. A few F words here and there, medium sexual content, and adult themes. Probably a PG-13. But very, very good.

Paranoia...or Prophecy?

So lately I have not been doing much except sitting around and reading...which might sound like the enth degree of hell to most people, but I have come out of this very relaxed--even if does ruin my vision.

I have read two books in the past two weeks, which is actually pretty slow for me. I must be getting slower in my old age. The first book I read was called Feed. I read this for a very specific reason. I have this kooky idea that I might want to do a futuristic fiction unit with my English 11 Honors students next year, taking a page from a class I took in college. The class was titled, "Futuristic Fiction: Paranoia or Prophecy?" In all honesty, the class did little else but scare the sh** out of me. We read fiction that was set in the future; all stories were in communities where the government had tried to perfect society by using a number of frightening devices, most frightening of which was brain washing. We read A Brave New World, 1984, The Time Machine, The Handmaid's Tale, Frankenstein, and a few others that I didn't get to. Then, this professor (a beatnik-poet-version of Bruce Willis--I had a slight crush on him), who was an extremely dynamic lecturer, would flood us with articles from Newsweek, Time, and the newspaper of instances that were parallel to these dystopian societites that we were reading about. It was a very harrowing hour and a half. Several times I left convinced that we were being brainwashed on every side, that 9/11 was a scam by the government to get the idotic, patriotic citizens to voluntarily forfeit their constututional rights (just like in Handmaid's Tale), and that the Pledge of Allegiance is actually a governmental ploy to brainwash all of us into a flag-waving frenzy. And I was further convinced that we didn't realize this was happening to all of us, becuase the government was feeding the media all of this "we have to be beautiful to matter" propganda to get us sidetracked and to believe that beauty is the only thing that mattered in the world. It was an intense class. In fact, one day, after a very heated discussion of A Brave New World, where the people in this society were bred to be beautiful, and anytime anyone questioned anything other than the newest fashion trend they were given a shot of feel-good meds, and were obsessed with sex, I left class only to go to a friend's house to watch American Idol. The first thing I saw on the screen was a gelled Ryan Sechrest with a shirt that read "Beauty Qualifies Me." I began to hyperventilate.

Anyway, the point is, the class sincerely scared me, and apparently left an impact. Why wouldn't I want to freak my students out? So I think I'm going to talk about perfect socities, and all that jazz, complete with a chopped down reading of Plato's Republic. I want the students to read YA literature in the same vein, so I was trying to develope a list of dystopian books. After a short Google search, I found Feed. So, like any good teacher, I read it first.

I was apalled. And I don't apall easily. F-word here, F-word there, the story was disjointed, and the characters were deplorable. The sad thing was, I could picture any number of my students sounding and acting like these teens. Anyway, the book was gross. I don't recommend it, unless you are already VERY desistized--I thought I was. Aparently not. Anway, I was going to write about the other book I read, but I got off on a tangent...the other book, The Robber Bride, is really good. A few F words there, but not excessive, and not gratuitous. I'll leave that book review next time.