Lots of Stuff....

I haven't blogged in a long time because the only time I have to be on the computer is here at work, and while I find plenty of time to not do anything, I usually sleep. And when I think about blogging, I realize all my pictures on my computer at home. And then, when I get home, I don't want to deal with our stupid computer there. So usually the only time I blog is when I take my laptop home, which hasn't been happening lately because it's really heavy, and since I have an extra 40 pounds to lug around (40 pounds! AAAAG!), I really don't feel like hefting my laptop up three flights of stairs.

So, what's been going on? First off, it was my wonderful husband's birthday last week, and one of these days, I am going to do a little husband post with some of my cute pictures of my Joe. But, here's a preview: I love my husband because he is sweet, he give me awesome foot massages, he loves to do dishes, and he tries really had to fold the clothes the right way (even though I secretly re-fold them when he's not looking). Plus, he's really good-looking--especially when he wears his new church clothes I bought him for his birthday. Sometimes I can't believe that tall guy I saw across the culteral hall and thought, "he's way too cute for me" is my husband! I'm the luckiest girl ever!

And I really do realize this after the last couple of weeks. My best friend, Kristin, threw me the baby shower of a lifetime. Because of weird family stuff that went down last Christmas on my side, and weird family stuff that's been going down for the past four years on Joe's side, Kristin was the only person who offered to throw a shower. So I had to combine family, high school friends, Joe's friends, and ward friends into one huge shower. It was a huge burden on Kristin, I know, but she did it, and it was the most wonderful shower a girl could ask for. (If you didn't get invited, I am sorry! I was trying to keep the numbers down so she wouldn't have to spend a ton of money on food...) It was so fun, and it was so nice to see my family and Joe's family get together for the first time since our wedding (which was a disaster), and actually get along with each other (which didn't happen at the wedding). And thanks to everyone who helped out--I know there were a lot of people who offered food (Lisa, Natalie Monson, Natalee Hall, Leslie, my mom, Becky, Kim, Francine, and others). Kim did the gorgeous invites, and there were so many people who came early to help set up and stayed late to help clean up! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You don't know how much it meant for me to see all these people willing to help my friend.

We have a new friend--our neighbor, Aaron, had an unfortunate accident a couple of weeks ago, and since we share a porch with him, I was the only person around to help out. I had to call the ambulance and everything. While Joe and I are are very sorry that Aaron had to go through something that was very traumatic for him (Aaron doesn't like to talk about the details, so we'll just leave it at the fact that it was an accident), we are very grateful because after two years of trying, Aaron is our new friend--more specifically, Joe's new friend. He calls Joe and they talk for hours at a time, and Joe will go over and keep him company. Aaron's family all lives back east, and he doesn't really have any friends around our neighborhood, so it's nice for him to have someone to talk to now. The great part is is that he is really interested in the church and is asking a lot of questions. He asked Joe if we could start taking him to church, and he has told us that he sees our life and wants what we have, which is kind of weird to me. Joe and I don't have much. We have a happy life together, but we really aren't wealthy, and our life consists of going to work and watching the latest show and the DVR. But Aaron, who, to put it lightly, is not in any financial distress, sees that simple life and wants it in his own life. It makes me realize how blessed Joe and I really are to have the gospel and the peace and direction is brings in our lives, and how it helps us love each other so much better than we could ever do on our own. I hope that this friendship is one that will last, and I hope that Aaron does get in his life what Joe and I have in ours. We're really trying hard to be good examples for him and to answer whatever questions he has.

I only have two weeks left of work! YAY! I really love my job--I love the students, and I love the (totally legal) relationships I have with them. But dealing with 80 kids a day, plus about 20 adults a day, is emotionally exhuasting. I am ready to stay home, put my feet up, and get my house in order before our little bundle arrives in 30 short days. Sometimes it's discouraging. I look at my students, and I look at my lessons, and I look at the grades, and I think, "Am I even teaching these kids ANYTHING? They don't seem to be getting anything out of this class!" But then I have to remind myself that I might not be doing the best in teaching these kids how to write and think, but I am doing my best to teach these kids responsibility and consequences. I teach them how to organize their time, and I teach them (and sometimes their parents) that there are just some things in life that are crappy to do, but you have to do them. I teach them that at some point, they have to let go of Mommy and Daddy's hands and feed themseleves. I teach them that if they want to do the fun things in life, they have to be responsible for the right things. I feel like I am more a life teacher than an English teacher, and while I don't feel like I am the most knowledgeable English teacher here, I do feel like I am the right person to teach those important skills that they will need the rest of their high school careers, and their college careers, if they choose to go to college. Maybe that's why they keep me with the Sophomores--because I can train them in the ways of responsibility and accountability. Because I am strict, and I say it how it is (which gets me into trouble a lot--but the students appreciate it). But I am also very flexible and fair. I think that's important to these Sophomores, and hopefully, by the time they leave my class, they will understand a little better about choices and consequences. I hope so, otherwise, I am a total failure. Because heaven knows I'm not the best English expert in the world.

Anyway, that's how things have been going lately--lots of baby stuff and high school stuff (which is kind of the same thing, except the baby stuff happens in pastels instead of black).

Maybe I'll post pictures in the next couple of weeks of my 9 months-bloatedness?! I can't wait to see this little person that keeps me up all night. I mostly can't wait to lose 20 pounds in one day, but the baby is a great perk, too.

Please Observe...

I would like to take one minute and direct everyone's attention to my baby counter (that doesn't have anything to do with babies). Does it say 62 days? Yes it does! YAY! Baby is coming soon, which is hard to wrap my mind around. But I have gotten to the point where I'm not really counting down the arrival of Baby. I am counting down to how many days before I get to sleep on my stomach again! I realize I won't be sleeping much more than I am now, but those few times where I will be able to catch a wink? You better believe I will be face down.

On a more baby-centered note, it is starting to set in that I am actually going to have a baby in about two months here. The nice people at the hospital, I am told, are actually going to give me a little baby and tell me to take it home. I have to wonder to myself, what are they thinking?

I have a student who loves to grow plants, and as a result is always giving them away to make room for more. He came to me at the end of last year, asking me if I wanted yet another plant. I had to confess to him that I had killed every plant he had ever given me, and I just don't know if he wants to sacrifice his passion to me like that. He arrived the next day with a cactus, informing me that I only had to water it once every three months. I have actually kept the cactus alive, because Joe waters it every three months. And these people want to give me a child that has to be watered every four hours? Again, I ask them, what are they thinking?

I was in Nursery for about a year. I had a lot of help, about four other people, including my husband. I am fully aware that I was not the favorite in the room. The kids did what I said, yes. They stayed in their seats for me when the wouldn't for anyone else, that's true. But they didn't like me. And do you know what the worst part was? I didn't care. And now, I am going to have one in my house! I don't know what people are thinking. I don't know what I was thinking. I hope Joe doesn't mind that I intend on giving him the kid for the first 8-10 years, and them I'll take over. I do better with teenagers. They can reason. But some kid screaming at me because he had a bowel movement? Heaven help my kids!

My only comfort is the hope that I won't dry heave at my own child's poop, and that my own child will not need me to constantly entertain him/her (I'm not a friend. I'm a grown-up...at least until they're 10), and the my own child's crying won't make me not want to shop anymore. As of now, those maternal instincts haven't quite kicked in. Maybe it's because I have never really wanted to be that stay-at-home mom who cleaned and cooked at made cookies (as a matter of fact, I am a terrible housewife. I hate cleaning; I don't mind cooking, I just like to do it on my terms). Don't get me wrong. We wanted this baby. We paid dearly for this baby. This baby is a very literal miracle given to us by Heavenly Father and the medical community. This baby is probably the most wanted baby to ever grace a mother's womb. It took a lot time, money, and tears to get this little one here. And I am grateful. I want a family, and I want to be a mom. Unfortunately, it hasn't been until recently that my mothering skills have been called into question. By myself, mind you. Joe has no fear. He's excited (although I have a sneaking suspicion that he is more excited to laugh at me when I dry-heave over diapers...). And I am sure once I have that little one here, actually in the flesh and not just kicking my bladder, that I will be fine. But really. Really? Shouldn't there be a test that I have to take to have a baby in my house? Shouldn't there be some formal interview?
Q: Do you like to clean?
A: No. Do you like to? I have dishes that need to be done.
Q: Do you like children?
A: Not other people's. Strangers, I mean. I like my friend's kids, but that's mostly because they're cute, and I don't have to keep them.
Q: But you are a teacher. Shouldn't you like kids to be a teacher?
A: No. You have to like teenagers to be a teacher. And I like teenagers.
Q: Why do you like teenagers over little kids?
A: Because I don't have to clean up their poop, tie their shoes, or have them vomit on my shoulder. A lot less mucus involved with teenagers. And I can tell them that it's their responsibility to do what they are supposed to do.
Q: So why do you want to have children?
A:....I don't know. It's biological, I guess. And I am going off the faith that I'll like my own kids over other people's. Plus, I'm a likable person. I might screw up a little when they are small, but I will be stellar once they hit ten.
Q: Don't you like babies?
A: Oh sure. I just don't know what to do with them.
Q: Like changing their diapers?
A: No, I know about all that stuff, and I can do it. I know about the feeding stuff, too, and I am pretty sure I'll be okay with that. But then what? Do have to hold and coo all the time? I know they sleep, but what'll I do when they're awake? You can just give a book to a baby and say, "This is my favorite book. I love the way Gatsby and Daisy are both not the best people in the world, but I feel for them. I understand Daisy despite her selfishness. It's wonderful. Oh, and check out the symbolism in chapter 8. It's glorious." I mean, they can't even talk! Really? Really!
Q: Despite all of this, you still want to have a baby? You are still willing to go through all that you have been through, go into debt, and take extreme chances? For this? Are you crazy?
A: Yes, I still want to have a baby. I guess that does make me crazy.
Q: You are asking us, a responsible party, to give you, a self-proclaimed crazy woman, a baby that you admit you have no idea how to handle.
A: Yes. I think so.
Q: We will make our decision and let you know by Friday.

I guess what I am trying to say is...even though I want to be a mom, even though I know that I am ready, and I'm really not worried about loving my baby or doing the right things for my baby (I am, after all, a fairly logical person. I know that those things will come with time), I am scared shit-less. To put it in the nicest terms.

Heaven Is...

A pregnancy wedge. Ahhh! Who would have thought that this little pillow, shaped like a slab of cheese, would be my salvation? Life is good, nights are even better. I take it everywhere: the car, the front room, and after last week, this little bad boy is going to church with me, too. (This isn't the one I have. Mine looks more like a triangle.)

Now all I need to make my life perfect would be for the dream I had last night to come true: my insurance company would call me and tell me that there has been a mistake and for some reason, my account has a surplus, so they would like to pay for laser eye surgery before August of 2009. Imagine, being able to see when you wake up! Unfortunatly, I think asking for more than the pregnancy wedge from the gods would be pushing my luck. Oh well. Glasses I can handle. Heavy baby-belly I cannot. I am happy.

Things I have Learned about Babies and Bellies

Most women don't really like to take pictures of themselves while they are pregnant. I, on the other hand, am glad to have a valid reason for gaining weight and finally having a socially acceptable reason for showing off my fat belly. That being said, some of these are still really bad pictures. Not in my finest hour. And I have come to realize that I am getting pregnant everywhere, not just the belly. But, for posterity, here they are.


I like to call this one: "Bad Hair at 16 Weeks". Notice the background--all of my belly pics are taken in the baby's room.

This one is titled "I Am Not Pushing it Out! Take the Stupid Picture! at 18 Weeks."

This one is called, "I Look Really Bad in Profile, So I am Striking a Maternity Model Pose at 20 weeks."

And this one doesn't have me in it. It's just a picture of the baby's room, completely finished sans crib. Believe it or not, I taped off all the lines myself, and they are mostly straight. My eyes started going a little wonkey near the end, so Joe did the last five or so. I chose browns because we don't know what we are having, and I didn't want a "baby" baby room, for resale reasons. Plus, how cute did it turn out? Poor Joe had to put in the chair railing and the quarter round (at the ceiling). Something I will never ever put him through again. He really loves me to do all of it with minimal swearing. And he only threw the saw across the room once. Such a sweet guy!

In addition to the pictures, I thought I would make a list of some of the most interesting things I have learned about being pregnant.

1. I can't walk anywhere without a hand. It's amazing that all of a sudden, my chances of being hit, mugged, or beat up by some random person have dramatically increased. At least, that's the only thing I can figure out, because I can't go anywhere now without Joe's hand securly in mine.
2. I fully realize how much people love my baby. No one cared when I had to walk on ice last year, now it's the utmost concern of Joe, Joe's dad, and others. No one said anything when I walked up and down my three flights several times a day for the last three years, but now, three flights!? It's too much for a pregnant woman! I have been making dinner for us for three years, and seeing how Joe's pants were a little tight for him this last week, he hasn't been starving. But now, Joe's mother sends home dinner once in a while because she figured I might not feel like cooking. Very sweet.
3. Now, when someone asks me how I am, they fully expect a detailed list of my many ailments. Usually when someone asks you how you are feeling, they don't really care. Not any more. The best part is, when I say that I am fine, no complaints, they look at me like I am crazy. I feel like I am cheating them of a good conversation because I have had a really easy pregnancy.
4. Babies don't ever sleep at night, in-utero or out. At least mine doesn't. It never fails that around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m, I will start getting kicked, and it will go on until about 1:00 in the morning. It doesn't hurt or anything, but the problem is, I am so fascinated by what I am feeling, I don't get a lot of sleep.
5. I am no longer lazy. I am pregnant. It's interesting that before I was pregnant, a messy house meant I wasn't a good housewife, a fact that I was willing to fess up to, but now? No, I'm not bad. I'm just pregnant. You don't want to go to the gym? Of course not...You're pregnant. It's okay if you don't grade those papers. You need a rest. You're pregnant. It is so wonderful to not feel guilt all the time. I don't think this little baby understands the joy it has brought into my life already.
6. Before, if I wanted a donut, it was because I had no will-power. Now? Those donuts must have something in them my body is craving, otherwise, I wouldn't want them. Therefore, because my body needs whatever those donuts have, I should eat them.
7. The baby has taken my brain. This one I had heard about, and I am sorry to say, I really didn't believe it. I just thought people had a lot on their mind with a new baby coming, and that's why they were stupid. I here and now sincerely apologize for ever thinking that. I thought I was going nuts until I watched The Biggest Loser finale, where Allison Sweeny, the host, who was eight months pregnat, kept calling everyone by the wrong names and mispronouncing a lot of words on the teleprompter. It was then I went, it isn't just me! It really is the baby! I'm not crazy! Unfortunately because my students this year will never know me not pregnant, they will never realize this. They will just move on next year thinking, my English teacher was nutty.
8. Once you hit about 20 weeks or so, your belly grows 1 cm a week. In our non-metric nation, that sounds small. Until you realize, like I did this past week, that a centemeter is exactly length of eight dimes stacked on top of each other. I'm serious. Stack eight dimes together, and that's how much my belly grows. A week. And I have 17 weeks left! That means my belly is going to grow 136 more dimes (if I've done the math right)!
9. I love my old garments. I know that I shouldn't really be lamenting my underwear, but I had the kind that were kind of stretchy, which meant they stayed in place when I pulled up my jeans and such. Even though I am a fan of materinity garments (pull it WAY up over my belly) I do miss the stretchy, non-moving underwear of what, I am now referring to as my skinny days (imagine--my size 10 pants were my SKINNY days!)
10. Every pregnant woman is different when it comes to pillows. I am a stomach sleeper, which is why I haven't had a lot of rest lately. I have had much advice on the pillow situation, and I have tried everything. I simply cannot figure out what will make me comfortable. I had Joe tuck me in, surrounded with pillows so if I roll on my back, I will still be propped up, but I didn't like that because I felt like I was sleeping by myself. My poor husband was on the edge of the bed. Then, I tried a pillow between my legs, but because I turn a lot in my sleep, because my body wants to lay on my stomach, the pillow never stays there, so it's pointless. The only thing I have found that works is to put the body pillow on one side, and Joe on the other. I either cuddle the pillow, or a cuddle Joe. If I cuddle the pillow, then Joe scoots really close to my back. That way, if I roll over, then he props me up. If I cuddle Joe, then when I roll over, my pillow props me up. It's the only way I can figure to stay on my side, which is really inconvenient to Joe, I realize. But he has informed that he doesn't mind, because I keep him warm. And he doesn't like feeling like he's sleeping alone, either.

So, those are the 10 things I have learned over the last 23 weeks. I am sure I will learn more in the last 17, and keep everyone posted on any new break-throughs.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

So I haven't blogged for a while, therefore, you are all going to be subjected to what I like to call Blogorhhea, in other words, I have had much building up, and it's all coming out now. I just realized how disturbing that was....sorry.

First on the list was our new tradition, the annual viewing of The Christmas Carol at Hale Center Theater in West Valley. Scary place, good theater. Joe's parents used to take his sisters and him to the play every year when tickets were relatively cheap, and now Joe feels very strongly about continuing the traditon. As an avid theater-goer myself, I am on board. My first Christmas Carol was last year, and one of my dear, dear, friends, Adrien (affectionatly known as "adge-rawn". It's a college thing) was Fred's wife, and the singing homeless woman. Last year my favorite part of the Christmas Carol was seeing Adrien, and hearing her sing again. She has the beautiful voice--it's a high, gorgeous soprano, with a vibrato like chocolate. I hadn't heard Adrien sing since she graduated SUU and I came back home to finish up at UVSC. I was determined that she was going to sing at my wedding, but she was on her mission. Oh well. Back to the point. The point was that this year, Adrien wasn't in the play, and I missed her a lot. The other woman who sang "Silent Night" was an alto, and it didn't feel quite right without my wonderful Adrien. But it was still good. The Christmas Carol is always good. Joe and I have decided that we are going to keep up the tradition of taking our kids to the play, even if it means saving up for a year for the tickets, once our kids are old enough to sit that long.

The next weekend, Joe and I went to Temple Square with Joe's good friend Steve, and his wife Emily. They got married just two months after we did, so we do stuff with them once in a while.

Our customary Joe-Take-the-Picture picture

Here is the Nativity on the Reflection Pond

The temple is so beautiful!

I have other pictures, but right now my computer is being retarded and won't let me pull 'em off the camera. Dumb technology.

Our actual Christmas day was so fun. Joe got a stool for work, clothes, and lots of videos and video games. I got a print that I've been wanting for some time now, the Lehi Roller Mills picture by Eric Dowdle:
I also got the BBC Romance collection (YAY!) complete with Pride and Prejudice (ahhhh....Collin Firth), Jane Eyre (who doesn't love a romance about a teacher and a crazy lady in the attic?), The Scarlett Pimpernell (those crazy French. They're always chopping off someone's head), Tom Jones (I hear this one is dirty. I don't know if I'll be watching it...), Emma (I hear Clueless is loosely based on this one. Very loosely), and a few others I can't remember right now. I was a very happy camper, even though I have only seen Pride and Prejudice. I have new sick movies. YAY!

And a recipe book holder. Just what I wanted--no, not to cook, but to hold up my books at school. Silly, I know, but I have been dying to have something hold up my books while I am busy typing the many quotes I use when creating assignments. So, fun. We love Christmas! And, I am even more excited to report that, since this is the last Christmas without baby, that it's the last Christmas to be spoiled, spoiled, spoiled, by a husband who shows his love in many ways, but particularly in gestures.

Perhaps my favorite gift of the season would have to be baby-related. Joe and I have been saving for a couple of months to buy the glider I have wanted for the baby's room, and the day after Christmas, thanks to a few gift cards from family, we finally had enough to go order it and pay for it in full! You should have seen the lady's face at Vintage Oak when I informed her that we wouldn't be needing a payment plan...we'd been saving. And the look got even better when I handed her a envelope full of cash to pay for the chair. I must say, I am now becomming more Bingham than Jones. Paying for something with cash?! Unheard of, in the Jones clan. Those darn Binghams!

My other favorite gift was my 22 week ultrasound! On December 23rd, we were able to go get a good look at Baby, now no longer a gummy bear, and see everything safe, sound, and oh-so-cute! So what are we having? See if you can tell. If you tilt your head to the right, you can see the baby's face. His/her hand is on his/her cheek with the thumb sticking up. Can't tell what the baby is? That's okay. Neither can I. And the doctor didn't look, either.
And we're not going to find out. I know that people are really frustrated. I have had more than one person tell me that I can't have a shower because "what will I buy?" Guess what? Babies need more than clothes, even though I know that's what people like to buy. So, if you are so inclined, and this is mostly for those few family members that are having fits over what to buy, Joe and I are registered at Babies R Us and Target. (Please note: I am not asking for presents. I have just had a lot of people ask me how they are supposed to know what to buy if they don't know what I'm having. How did people eve have babies before all of this technology?) If the colors look kind of boyish, it's because I let Joe pick them out, since I seriously doubt a baby girl would be really upset if we got a blue diaper bag. It's not because I know something you don't. (Side note: I was so close to going back on my resolve--I want to know, too! But it was my idea, I talked Joe into it, and he was going to hold me to it. They asked if we were going to find out the sex while I was in the bathroom, so I really didn't have a say. Sigh)

So, what are we doing now that Christmas is over? Well, I have been working for hours on lesson plans for when the baby comes, and today I went to the high school to get late work graded and entered since the term end the week we get back to school. Joe goes to work everyday, but doesn't really do anything. Even with all this snow, people are reluctant to fix their cars. We cleaned our house, an event that doesn't happen too often, and it has (happily) stayed clean over the past few days. That's about it. Merry Christmas to everyone, and we hope that you have all had a wonderful Christmas, and that everyone will be safe on the roads tonight. But if by chance you do have fender bender, take your car to AutoMenders on 45th south. Behind Lowes. Happy New Year!

Jason Mraz, I'm Yours

So Joe was a huge sport and accompanied me to the most wonderful concert I have ever been to: the one and only Jason Mraz. I am proud to say that I have been a big fan of his since his first album debuted, which I constantly must remind all of those who think they are fans NOW simply because of the new hit, "I'm Yours." There are a lot of you posers out there. For example, I have had a Jason Mraz poster hanging in my classroom for the last five years (his first album was released six-ish years ago), and every year my students ask who he is. This is the first year they have said, "Oh, Jason Mraz! I love that song!" And I always ask, "Which song? "The Remedy"? "You and I"? "Did You Get My Message"? "Forecast"? "Please Don't Tell Her"? Because those are my favorites." Without fail, I am always met with a blank stare. "He has more than one song?" Posers. All of them.

So, when I was on Ticket Master last July looking for So You Think You Can Dance tickets and saw that my wonderful Jason was coming in concert, I thought, "Screw you, Chelsie Hightower! I've got a date!" And I bought myself my own birthday present. And wonderful Joe, who doesn't really like Mr. A-Z, agreed to go and be my camera man so I could pay attention. He loves me.

So, on October 28, we headed to the E Center and enjoyed the best concert I have ever been to. There was dancing, there was singing (of course) there were pictures, and a about a 25 minute encore. It was so worth it being tired; I had arranged to take the next day off work so I could sleep.

This is Joe and me before the show. For some reason, Joe can't take a picture without closing his eyes. I don't get it, because he's the one pushing the button. He knows when it's gonna flash.

If you watch America's Next Top Model, you'll get this nex joke. We decided we wanted to practice "smiling with our eyes," as Miss Tyra Banks would say. She's not the brightest bulb in the box.

This is us with "dead" un-smiling eyes.

This is us "smiling with our eyes." It's a process that involves squinting and dipping your chin. Those models. What will they think of next? Rocket scientists! Every one of 'em!

Awesome shots from the main event:


1) These were the horn guys. They were freaking amazing! They would go out in the audience and pop up once in a while and play like...wow. It was cool.
2)This is a shot of the stage. You can see those screens behind Jason (yes, we're on first-name basis). Those were really cool. Before the show started, they had a number you could text messages to and they appeared on the screens. You could also take pictures with your phone and send them, and they would also appear on the screen. You can even look up Salt Lake City concert pics on Jason Mraz's website.
3)A close up of Jason on the screen. Isn't my husband a wonderful photographer?
4)The trombone guy. I had no idea trombones were so bitchin'. 5) Jason. He had this cute/funny little dance where he would wiggle his butt and nothing else. It was just fun!

The clip below was a pain in the freaking rear, but I had to figure it out because this is when Jason was singing really fast (which is his specialty) during "The Remedy." Joe pans over in the middle of it because apparently I was freaking out, but you can't see anything.

It really was an awesome concert, and I am not saying that because I am biased. Even Joe, who's not a big fan, said it was really good. I had a couple students come to school screaming at me about how awesome it was, and we were jumping and squealing like he had actually winked at us or something. I would pay for that again.

I feel sad for all of you who missed out on the concert. I am even more sad for those of you who don't care. It's like not caring about starving children in Africa, or that our ozone is going to crap. You're losing so much, without even being aware of it. I also feel sad for those of you who are new fans. How much you missed. Posers.

Effects of Baby

Disclaimer: Throughout this and subsequent blogs, I will be referring the Baby as 1) Baby or
2) He/him. This is no way "announcing" anything. As stated before, we will not be knowing the gender of Baby. I am choosing to use "him" as the preferred pronoun because writing s/he and him/her very tedious. Also, I refuse to call baby "it," and, being the level 1 Grammarian I like to believe I am, I cannot bring myself to use the plural pronoun "them," even though it is becoming more and more accepted. Therefore, despite the un-political-correctness of it all, I am choosing to use the biblical pronoun "he" to refer to both genders. In short, I choose God over politics.


It is very exciting to hit week 12, almost 13! Joe and I heaved a collective sigh of relief that Baby has made it this far, and it looks like he is here to stay! I have been very lucky, since I have almost no sickness or anything since Baby's arrival on the pee-stick, but Baby has been a little naughty so far and has had a stern talking-to.

Baby gave me zits. It's not that I have never had them before, but they were few and far-between, only occurring once in a while in my hair line when I used hairspray--thank you, Grandma Jones! (Those injuns have the best hair and skin.) However, since Baby's arrival, I have had numerous breakouts that not even Proactive is being very good at combating. I do realize that Baby is only a Baby and doesn't know any better, but honestly! So we had a little talking to, and I told him, very Super Nanny-like, that zits were not acceptable, and Mommy does not appreciate it, and if he does it again, he will be sent to time-out (which I am designating as around the bowel area. I don't know if that is possible, but it's really the worst place I could think of.) I think we have an understanding.

Also, I was wondering if babies can kick you in the head? Because Baby is giving me headaches! If this continues, it's time-out for him!

One thing that I am very grateful to Baby for is my figure. I know this is the part most women don't like. But when you have grown up battling weight, crying every time you come home from Weight Watchers, and not allowing yourself to eat even a little tiny cookie, you become grateful for nine months of not dieting. And, it's okay to gain a few pounds--not only is it okay, but you know why you are gaining it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not going crazy with food or anything. In fact, I have stuck pretty closely to my Weight Watchers lifestyle, just allowing a few extra points, and taking the workout down a couple of notches. And I am gaining weight. And for the first time in my life, I don't feel guilty about it. Thank you, Baby, for making me feel better about my belly, even though I am used to looking top-heavy (thanks, Mom), and now I look a little like a Star-Bellied Sneetch. (I am aware that no one else notices this shift. But I do. And Joe does. And that's all that counts.)

Besides the physical, Baby has affected me in many ways. I have never been one much for worrying. No matter what happens, things that have to get done have a way of getting done. This has always been my theory. But last week, I looked at the stack of essays, projects, poems, journals, and book reports that needed to be graded, and I thought about how I had to go to scouts, we were leaving for the weekend, I needed to put together a Christmas Program, and possibly come home from my weekend early so I could go to Relief Society, well, I started to bawl. I usually don't cry for things like this. I typically only cry when I am really really sad; I simply deal with stress. But last week I broke down on the way home from Blimpie and bawled. I think I scared Joe a little bit because he was trying to solve all my problems, which made me cry harder because I didn't want solutions. I can figure it out for myself! And then I started crying because I was crying and I'm not a cryer. I think I can chalk this break-down to Baby. And today, one of my sweet students came in and asked if I needed help on Thursday with stuff because "I looked a little frazzled" in class today. Which is weird because I didn't feel frazzled. I think I can thank Baby for that one, too.

But, I am so thankful that I have to deal with zits, headaches, Star-Bellied Sneetch bellies, and breakdowns. I paid a lot of money to feel this way, and I am so grateful I did. All in all, I am glad that Baby is here, and if he continues to behave himself, I think we will get on very well. I never thought I would be so happy feeling so crummy. Yay, Baby!

I don't feel like I am showing any that people will notice besides myself, so I haven't taken any pictures of Baby yet, but I will once I feel like I look pregnant rather than fat.