Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Things I have Learned about Babies and Bellies

Most women don't really like to take pictures of themselves while they are pregnant. I, on the other hand, am glad to have a valid reason for gaining weight and finally having a socially acceptable reason for showing off my fat belly. That being said, some of these are still really bad pictures. Not in my finest hour. And I have come to realize that I am getting pregnant everywhere, not just the belly. But, for posterity, here they are.


I like to call this one: "Bad Hair at 16 Weeks". Notice the background--all of my belly pics are taken in the baby's room.

This one is titled "I Am Not Pushing it Out! Take the Stupid Picture! at 18 Weeks."

This one is called, "I Look Really Bad in Profile, So I am Striking a Maternity Model Pose at 20 weeks."

And this one doesn't have me in it. It's just a picture of the baby's room, completely finished sans crib. Believe it or not, I taped off all the lines myself, and they are mostly straight. My eyes started going a little wonkey near the end, so Joe did the last five or so. I chose browns because we don't know what we are having, and I didn't want a "baby" baby room, for resale reasons. Plus, how cute did it turn out? Poor Joe had to put in the chair railing and the quarter round (at the ceiling). Something I will never ever put him through again. He really loves me to do all of it with minimal swearing. And he only threw the saw across the room once. Such a sweet guy!

In addition to the pictures, I thought I would make a list of some of the most interesting things I have learned about being pregnant.
  1. I can't walk anywhere without a hand. It's amazing that all of a sudden, my chances of being hit, mugged, or beat up by some random person have dramatically increased. At least, that's the only thing I can figure out, because I can't go anywhere now without Joe's hand securly in mine.
  2. I fully realize how much people love my baby. No one cared when I had to walk on ice last year, now it's the utmost concern of Joe, Joe's dad, and others. No one said anything when I walked up and down my three flights several times a day for the last three years, but now, three flights!? It's too much for a pregnant woman! I have been making dinner for us for three years, and seeing how Joe's pants were a little tight for him this last week, he hasn't been starving. But now, Joe's mother sends home dinner once in a while because she figured I might not feel like cooking. Very sweet.
  3. Now, when someone asks me how I am, they fully expect a detailed list of my many ailments. Usually when someone asks you how you are feeling, they don't really care. Not any more. The best part is, when I say that I am fine, no complaints, they look at me like I am crazy. I feel like I am cheating them of a good conversation because I have had a really easy pregnancy.
  4. Babies don't ever sleep at night, in-utero or out. At least mine doesn't. It never fails that around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m, I will start getting kicked, and it will go on until about 1:00 in the morning. It doesn't hurt or anything, but the problem is, I am so fascinated by what I am feeling, I don't get a lot of sleep.
  5. I am no longer lazy. I am pregnant. It's interesting that before I was pregnant, a messy house meant I wasn't a good housewife, a fact that I was willing to fess up to, but now? No, I'm not bad. I'm just pregnant. You don't want to go to the gym? Of course not...You're pregnant. It's okay if you don't grade those papers. You need a rest. You're pregnant. It is so wonderful to not feel guilt all the time. I don't think this little baby understands the joy it has brought into my life already.
  6. Before, if I wanted a donut, it was because I had no will-power. Now? Those donuts must have something in them my body is craving, otherwise, I wouldn't want them. Therefore, because my body needs whatever those donuts have, I should eat them.
  7. The baby has taken my brain. This one I had heard about, and I am sorry to say, I really didn't believe it. I just thought people had a lot on their mind with a new baby coming, and that's why they were stupid. I here and now sincerely apologize for ever thinking that. I thought I was going nuts until I watched The Biggest Loser finale, where Allison Sweeny, the host, who was eight months pregnat, kept calling everyone by the wrong names and mispronouncing a lot of words on the teleprompter. It was then I went, it isn't just me! It really is the baby! I'm not crazy! Unfortunately because my students this year will never know me not pregnant, they will never realize this. They will just move on next year thinking, my English teacher was nutty.
  8. Once you hit about 20 weeks or so, your belly grows 1 cm a week. In our non-metric nation, that sounds small. Until you realize, like I did this past week, that a centemeter is exactly length of eight dimes stacked on top of each other. I'm serious. Stack eight dimes together, and that's how much my belly grows. A week. And I have 17 weeks left! That means my belly is going to grow 136 more dimes (if I've done the math right)!
  9. I love my old garments. I know that I shouldn't really be lamenting my underwear, but I had the kind that were kind of stretchy, which meant they stayed in place when I pulled up my jeans and such. Even though I am a fan of materinity garments (pull it WAY up over my belly) I do miss the stretchy, non-moving underwear of what, I am now referring to as my skinny days (imagine--my size 10 pants were my SKINNY days!)
  10. Every pregnant woman is different when it comes to pillows. I am a stomach sleeper, which is why I haven't had a lot of rest lately. I have had much advice on the pillow situation, and I have tried everything. I simply cannot figure out what will make me comfortable. I had Joe tuck me in, surrounded with pillows so if I roll on my back, I will still be propped up, but I didn't like that because I felt like I was sleeping by myself. My poor husband was on the edge of the bed. Then, I tried a pillow between my legs, but because I turn a lot in my sleep, because my body wants to lay on my stomach, the pillow never stays there, so it's pointless. The only thing I have found that works is to put the body pillow on one side, and Joe on the other. I either cuddle the pillow, or a cuddle Joe. If I cuddle the pillow, then Joe scoots really close to my back. That way, if I roll over, then he props me up. If I cuddle Joe, then when I roll over, my pillow props me up. It's the only way I can figure to stay on my side, which is really inconvenient to Joe, I realize. But he has informed that he doesn't mind, because I keep him warm. And he doesn't like feeling like he's sleeping alone, either.

So, those are the 10 things I have learned over the last 23 weeks. I am sure I will learn more in the last 17, and keep everyone posted on any new break-throughs.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

So I haven't blogged for a while, therefore, you are all going to be subjected to what I like to call Blogorhhea, in other words, I have had much building up, and it's all coming out now. I just realized how disturbing that was....sorry.

First on the list was our new tradition, the annual viewing of The Christmas Carol at Hale Center Theater in West Valley. Scary place, good theater. Joe's parents used to take his sisters and him to the play every year when tickets were relatively cheap, and now Joe feels very strongly about continuing the traditon. As an avid theater-goer myself, I am on board. My first Christmas Carol was last year, and one of my dear, dear, friends, Adrien (affectionatly known as "adge-rawn". It's a college thing) was Fred's wife, and the singing homeless woman. Last year my favorite part of the Christmas Carol was seeing Adrien, and hearing her sing again. She has the beautiful voice--it's a high, gorgeous soprano, with a vibrato like chocolate. I hadn't heard Adrien sing since she graduated SUU and I came back home to finish up at UVSC. I was determined that she was going to sing at my wedding, but she was on her mission. Oh well. Back to the point. The point was that this year, Adrien wasn't in the play, and I missed her a lot. The other woman who sang "Silent Night" was an alto, and it didn't feel quite right without my wonderful Adrien. But it was still good. The Christmas Carol is always good. Joe and I have decided that we are going to keep up the tradition of taking our kids to the play, even if it means saving up for a year for the tickets, once our kids are old enough to sit that long.

The next weekend, Joe and I went to Temple Square with Joe's good friend Steve, and his wife Emily. They got married just two months after we did, so we do stuff with them once in a while.

Our customary Joe-Take-the-Picture picture
Here is the Nativity on the Reflection Pond

The temple is so beautiful!







I have other pictures, but right now my computer is being retarded and won't let me pull 'em off the camera. Dumb technology.

Our actual Christmas day was so fun. Joe got a stool for work, clothes, and lots of videos and video games. I got a print that I've been wanting for some time now, the Lehi Roller Mills picture by Eric Dowdle:
I also got the BBC Romance collection (YAY!) complete with Pride and Prejudice (ahhhh....Collin Firth), Jane Eyre (who doesn't love a romance about a teacher and a crazy lady in the attic?), The Scarlett Pimpernell (those crazy French. They're always chopping off someone's head), Tom Jones (I hear this one is dirty. I don't know if I'll be watching it...), Emma (I hear Clueless is loosely based on this one. Very loosely), and a few others I can't remember right now. I was a very happy camper, even though I have only seen Pride and Prejudice. I have new sick movies. YAY!


And a recipe book holder. Just what I wanted--no, not to cook, but to hold up my books at school. Silly, I know, but I have been dying to have something hold up my books while I am busy typing the many quotes I use when creating assignments. So, fun. We love Christmas! And, I am even more excited to report that, since this is the last Christmas without baby, that it's the last Christmas to be spoiled, spoiled, spoiled, by a husband who shows his love in many ways, but particularly in gestures.

Perhaps my favorite gift of the season would have to be baby-related. Joe and I have been saving for a couple of months to buy the glider I have wanted for the baby's room, and the day after Christmas, thanks to a few gift cards from family, we finally had enough to go order it and pay for it in full! You should have seen the lady's face at Vintage Oak when I informed her that we wouldn't be needing a payment plan...we'd been saving. And the look got even better when I handed her a envelope full of cash to pay for the chair. I must say, I am now becomming more Bingham than Jones. Paying for something with cash?! Unheard of, in the Jones clan. Those darn Binghams!

My other favorite gift was my 22 week ultrasound! On December 23rd, we were able to go get a good look at Baby, now no longer a gummy bear, and see everything safe, sound, and oh-so-cute! So what are we having? See if you can tell. If you tilt your head to the right, you can see the baby's face. His/her hand is on his/her cheek with the thumb sticking up. Can't tell what the baby is? That's okay. Neither can I. And the doctor didn't look, either.
And we're not going to find out. I know that people are really frustrated. I have had more than one person tell me that I can't have a shower because "what will I buy?" Guess what? Babies need more than clothes, even though I know that's what people like to buy. So, if you are so inclined, and this is mostly for those few family members that are having fits over what to buy, Joe and I are registered at Babies R Us and Target. (Please note: I am not asking for presents. I have just had a lot of people ask me how they are supposed to know what to buy if they don't know what I'm having. How did people eve have babies before all of this technology?) If the colors look kind of boyish, it's because I let Joe pick them out, since I seriously doubt a baby girl would be really upset if we got a blue diaper bag. It's not because I know something you don't. (Side note: I was so close to going back on my resolve--I want to know, too! But it was my idea, I talked Joe into it, and he was going to hold me to it. They asked if we were going to find out the sex while I was in the bathroom, so I really didn't have a say. Sigh)

So, what are we doing now that Christmas is over? Well, I have been working for hours on lesson plans for when the baby comes, and today I went to the high school to get late work graded and entered since the term end the week we get back to school. Joe goes to work everyday, but doesn't really do anything. Even with all this snow, people are reluctant to fix their cars. We cleaned our house, an event that doesn't happen too often, and it has (happily) stayed clean over the past few days. That's about it. Merry Christmas to everyone, and we hope that you have all had a wonderful Christmas, and that everyone will be safe on the roads tonight. But if by chance you do have fender bender, take your car to AutoMenders on 45th south. Behind Lowes. Happy New Year!

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